Lunchtime, Poetry and Pain.

Goodbye.

2010-01-06T10:30:00.003Z

I am full of Quasi New Years resolutions at the moment, like I am every year.This is an important one to me though, I am going to shut down this blog. It's not a weight around my neck or anything, but having it here not updating it disappoints me in some way. I know that I am not going to start posting soon.Gerry points to Facebook as the reason, he's probably right. I don't update that either

Channel Swimming

2009-09-16T13:49:00.000+01:00

Hi everyone, As all of you are aware (because it's all I talk about), I'm off to swim the channel next week. Hopefully winds and tides will work within the week timeslot our team has and we get to go (otherwise you can find me in the bottom of a bottle for the next six months). Current estimate for the off is the 3am on Sunday the 26th. I am in a team of six, so I'll be swimming in darkness

New Arrival

2009-03-02T13:26:00.004Z

I forgot to post my news 2 months ago to announce the new arrival in my house.Daniel was born on Dec 30th 2008.He'll be 9 weeks old tomorrowI got 6.5hrs sleep last night woot

Phelps and Me

2009-02-23T16:36:00.004Z

Hey - I have kind of committed to blogging for the new channel swim site iasc-swim.com where I am going to update weekly on Mondays. I am going to X-post here, unless anybody gets there knickers in a twist. Please check out the other site and have a sniff around. It smells professional.Here is the post:Tonight I walked into the bedroom with a measuring tape. "Honey, will you measure me?" My

More spend

2009-01-06T15:51:00.001Z

Gonna make these weekly:€1.14 on a tea, bread and cheese€20.00 on my staff restaurant card

Fitness schedule

2009-01-05T16:36:00.004Z

What do you think? I'd be happy if I hit 80% on a weekly basis...MondayMorning5k cycle2.2k SwimLunchtime6k runEvening5k cycleTuesdayMorning5k cycle2.2k swimLunchtime25m abs25m upper body weightsEvening5k cycleWednesdayMorning5k cycle10k runEvening5k cyclePower ThursdayMorning5k cycle3k run1k row1k swimLunchtime25m absEvening1hr circuit training1k swim5k cycleFridayMorning5k cycleLunchtime35m

Everything I buy

2009-01-05T15:52:00.003Z

Happy new year.A friend of a friend asked me to keep a log of everything I buy this year. Okey-Dokey, I think, I can do that. It's for science.Starting today:One single train ticket: €2.30One cup of coffee, two slices of brown bread, two philedelphia (subsidized): €1.34Remainder of above to hospice charity: €0.16One pair of craft thin gloves: €15.00One top base layer top (craft performance

Christmas Party Last Night

2008-12-18T15:11:00.002Z

Here is a quick picture summary.

MoByeBye

2008-12-01T15:01:00.002Z

All,Thanks to all who donated. We raised TEAM TOTAL EUR €6,610.01, which puts our team 2nd in Ireland. Doubled (for those who studied French) is €13220.02No small potatoes. Site stays open till the 8th. My personal tally puts me 55th in Ireland which is still pretty sweet.Conor

Spitz and Me

2008-11-20T09:41:00.003Z

All of you probably know that I swimming the channel. You may or may not know that I am also (and more impressively) sporting a moustache for the month of November. It's for charity.You can donate here: http://ie.movember.com/mospace/1764636In the meantime here is a brief list of the differences between myself and Mark SpitzSpitzConorWon 9 olympic gold medalsHas been (as yet) overlooked for

MPG

2008-10-29T14:22:00.001Z

Hey! Look at this. My body gets 42mpg.42 miles per gallonCreated by The Car Connection

Beards

2008-10-22T10:41:00.002+01:00

Beards.

twentylbaversary

2008-10-16T14:51:00.003+01:00

To celebrate losing 20lbs, and to really bore the tits off everybody, here is a list of all the exercise I did to lose the weight.Weight lost: 9.5kg (21lbs)Time: 124 days. (4 months)Total Calories burnt: 32534 KcalTotal Combined Distance: 441.76km (275miles)DATEACTIVITYDISTANCECALORIES16/10/2008Swim - Laps Laps / Swimming Pool 1.00 km.57116/10/2008Swim - TI Drills Pool Games / Lessons 0.00 km

Moo Last

2008-10-16T10:07:00.003+01:00

Going to remove all the running and training stuff to different team blogs around the place. But before I do, here is a photo of me finishing the 1/2 Marathon. Notice the relief on my gob.

Hello Stranger, My Best Friend

2008-10-15T13:30:00.000+01:00

Hi,Nice to meet you. You're at this thing too, huh? Who do you know? Ah, you're her husband. You don't know anyone either? Aha! It appears that you have all the qualifications to be: MY BEST FRIEND FOR THE EVENING.Let's bond through the medium of Jägerbombs. You want to drink Crème de Menthe mixed with Baileys? Anything for you buddy, the night is young and we are, of course, the best of friends.

2008-10-15T09:27:00.003+01:00

The Sydney Morning Herald published a hilarious list of the 100 best books of all time. Just look at the list! A popular vote, obviously. What I have read marked in blue. Australians must really love badly written thrillers (I know Matt Reilly is Australian but come on folks, best books of all time? Really?) and 'inspirational' lit. Still, being a man I am genentically predisposed to liking

Physical Therapy

2008-10-14T15:38:00.003+01:00

As part of the swimming I went to a physical therapist (N.B not physiotherapist, different discipline - no machines, all manipulation). Having never been to one before, I found him an interesting professional guy and he told me some stuff I didn't know about myself and that I am going to mangle into idiot speak here.I have flat feet. I should start wearing insolesMy arm flexibility is lousyMy

Before

2008-10-01T22:39:00.005+01:00

Here is a nice happy picture of a fit looking husband and wife team.Post-run photos when I have them.

The bluffers guide to a half marathon.

2008-09-30T17:20:00.004+01:00

Decide to do the race at the last minute, make sure you haven't planned or trained towards it at all. Make sure you have never run the distance. In fact keep any running you do under 5kms. Two days before the race eat and drink as much as possible. I recommend the Dom Perignon 1999. Exceptional. Wash this down with at least 5 pints of heineken. Not necessarily in that order. Get a rotten

Puny Channel

2008-09-23T16:41:00.004+01:00

Look at this picture, the channel is only 1cm wide from 518.64km up. If I can build a machine that can maintain this perspective for the swim it'll be a doddle.

Xhersize

2008-09-23T15:10:00.002+01:00

Hey there. I have spending a lot of time exercising recently, mostly as part of a get-fit buzz but with a couple of extra carrots. As a result I am soon to breach the -20lb (9KG) mark. I'll let you know, Im gonna be eating cake that day. I am concentrating on a few things:1. Running a marathon in 2009This isn't going to happen, so I suppose I am not really concentrating on it at all. I can

Batman

2008-07-22T10:00:00.001+01:00

The new Batman movie is supposed to be excellent.Maybe DC will take this opportunity to release a Batman comic that's not shit, however unlikely that may seem.

Store Bags.

2008-06-30T15:52:00.003+01:00

Recently I have noticed women walking around town using store bags instead or in place of handbags. Two of the more prevalent are La Senza & Myla. Now for folks that don't know, these are both lingerie stores, albeit from different ends of the market.Yep, you'll get noticed. Presumably that's the point.A La Senza bag says: "I like dirty, cheap, nasty underwear. And thrush."A Myla bag says: "I

Price of a cup of coffee?

2008-06-27T10:24:00.003+01:00

On the way into work a homeless man asked me for the price of a cup of coffee. I gave him €4.

SPAM and the future.

2008-06-26T13:13:00.004+01:00

I must confess to kind of liking spam. Not in a enjoy-getting-it-into-my-mailbox sort of way, more of a enjoy-looking-at-titles-while-looking-for-real-mail sort of way.I particularly like when spammers don't bother pretending that their messages are anything else but spam, a few messages like this are guaranteed to put a smile on my face. To wit [all sic - btw]:Update your PenisTake out your

Gosh! Canadians sure do suck at Mario Kart

2008-06-25T14:00:00.004+01:00

Hey there everyone. Been gone a while.Just thought I'd pop back to say that Canadians (yes, all of them) suck at Mario Kart.To illustrate, here is a picture of a clearly distressed Luigi in a pair of Moose horns, being trounced by a determined Mario in a leprechaun hat. The (not-so) titanic battle set against a backdrop of the Candian Flag. Until next time folks! Enjoy!

More Metro Copy editing

2008-01-24T09:47:00.000Z

So the bag thing in the metro really kicked off. Not sure I approve of Metro's copy editing process though.A couple of people replied to my first letter, I especially liked this guy's response:"Conor, I get the Dart from Dún Laoghaire to Tara Street at 10.26am. I am 5' 11in with dark hair and wear a suit with a dark grey overcoat, and yes, if there are empty seats, I will put my bag beside me. So

Metro 2

2008-01-22T09:06:00.000Z

So I go another letter published in the Metro. They copy edited it quite heavily, getting rid of some of the more..um..questionable sentiment:Original:So, some guy is labelled "rude" for asking someone to move their bag on the train? I whole-heartedly support the bloke in this situation, and would question who was being uncivil. Nothing makes the red mist descend quicker then a seat reserved

Bush and Me

2008-01-11T14:58:00.000Z

Well,This is...........odd.Maybe I should try and find this guy. Weird.

Solving the cocaine problem.

2008-01-07T17:47:00.000Z

I read an article on the internet today about vaccines being developed for nicotine and cocaine addition. It’s just the sort of fucking about the human body I find simultaneously interesting and really, really scary. Apparently human trials are underway (Hey! It worked on the Monkeys! The Capuchins aren’t wearing sunglasses any more! They seem to pretty angry and depressed too…), so maybe we

I am not dead, but I am a little closer.

2007-10-16T14:18:00.000+01:00

A quick note to say I am not dead.Though not blogging (at all), I always have a few in mind (a very boring essay on superman for one, and more of me naked for two).As for getting older, I was in the IT room bending over replacing a hard disk. When I stood up, without warning, a stream of vomit came out of my nose. Most unpleasant.

I had a meme

2007-09-05T12:13:00.000+01:00

Meme (pron:(/mi:m/) [meem]) n. [Origin: 1976; < Gk mīmeǐsthai to imitate, copy; coined by R.Dawkins, Brit. biologist, boring twit] 1. A mechanism for socially retarded fuckwits to disseminate half-baked crap to their moronic friends 2. A way for Internet monkeys to plagiarise other peoples ideas and claim them as their own3. All your base are belong to us

What we did for the weekend !

2007-08-01T12:20:00.000+01:00

A couple of the lads came to my house for the weekend and here's what happened:We got wet in the rainLike 4 big kids we based our way around on the BumpersI survived the longest in a 4 way shooting game in the arcadeAlan had the fasest Camel (twice) he won a deck of cards and some really plastic poker chipsConor & Al hammered myself and Michael in table footballMichael got some exercise beating

Metro Sense

2007-07-10T13:44:00.000+01:00

My letter in the Metro today:It makes sense if you read the Metro letters page on a semi-regular basis. People are accusing me of making it too highbrow. Keep your peepers peeled for the follow up: "Screw them single mothers."

Conor loves cock.

2007-07-09T10:26:00.000+01:00

I got sent this today. Thanks Gerry.

Holidaying in Ireland

2007-07-05T19:12:00.000+01:00

I'm currently on Holidays in Killarney and man the weather sucks!Nothing but fecking rain all week, what the hell is going on for Gods sake it's July you know.

Ooooh! New shoes?

2007-07-04T14:58:00.000+01:00

Bought some runners: Asics Gel-Foundation 7's."A versatile motion control shoe that provides the overpronators with a flexible, yet supportive base"Features include:AHARspEVA lastedAir MeshCompression Molded EVA socklinerspEVA3M ScotchlitePersonal Heel FitMaaaan! Wearing these puppies the other triathletes don't stand a chance.And they cost less then my bike.

Triathlon

2007-07-03T20:37:00.000+01:00

A couple of chaps in work are running in the Dublin City Triathlon. I half-heartedly said I'd give it a go.There are a couple of issues around this (always with the excuses)I am a fat fuckI have young childrenI have no runnersI have a shit bikeI have no wetsuitI have taken no serious exercise in 15 yearsSo, if I am going to take this seriously here's the plan:Buy runners. Make sure that they

Information is a super-weird substance

2007-07-02T14:02:00.000+01:00

Couple of things.I bought "The Mindscape of Alan Moore" on DVD. I am promised a psychedelic journey into one of the world's most powerful minds. You can see the trailer here. The only thing that puts me off a little is the way the director calls himself "DeZ VYLENZ" (sic.)Promises to be good. Sinead is not very enthusiastic about watching it, so the review may have to wait a while. The three

Word 2007, Cyber Nations, Jane Eyre and more

2007-06-20T14:04:00.001+01:00

I am using word 2k7 to post this blog. It enables me (heh! Is that English?) to do all sorts of things like thisWhich I won't be doing ever again, of course.Anyways.I have been playing this game cybernations on the internet. A limited enough creation, you set up a nation, trade for resources go to war etc. I got two of the worst resources in the game: Furs and Sugar. Michael tells me I

Release Day

2007-06-20T14:01:00.001+01:00

Lucky us working late today with a software release.

Apophenia, Synchronicity or Succubus?

2007-06-11T12:12:00.000+01:00

I have talked about apophenia before (seeing connections in random or meaningless data). I don’t think the following counts, it leans towards synchronicity.Or she was a succubus.Let me explain. Three timelines in play here:Back when I was a kid, I used to say I’d be a botanist when I grew up. At the time, I was mildly obsessive about nature (I still am). Mum used to say we’d go down the

Did you help me expand my mind?

2007-05-28T14:14:00.002+01:00

Did you?Not really. I've read Cavalier and Klay and Zen and the Art already, so I went and read some Jack Reacher books. Enjoyed these, in a read in two days, root for the psychopath kind of way.I am currently reading "I am Legend" also recommended by John, and then will start another Reacher book.After that? "The Restraint of Beasts" by Magnus Mills as recommended by Nick. I'll let you know

Iron Dick

2007-04-27T17:17:00.000+01:00

Just finished reading Marvel's Civil War.The gist of it is:All (domestic) superheroes have to be registered and paid by the US government. Some see this as an erosion of their civil liberties and increasing security at the cost of freedom. The leader of this faction is Captain America. Leader of the pro-government faction is Iron Man. Obvious analogies to current affairs.Mark Millar, who wrote

Help me book

2007-04-25T10:07:00.000+01:00

I'll throw this one open to the floor. What books should I read? Bearing in mind that I'll read almost anything. Currently I am reading "The Raw Shark Texts" by Steven Hall, which I am enjoying. I picked it up because I liked the cover and lack of blurb (the back of the book doesn't really tell you anything about what may be inside), and then googled the author. The fact that he sited

London

2007-04-12T17:36:00.000+01:00

Hey.Here I am usinng the Iinternett onn the TV inn my hotel roomm. Iits a little roppey. IIN FACT ITS RUBBISH> WHEREE DID THESE CAPS COME FROM?/ huhh?/ theree they go.It won't catch on.Couurse is goiing well, the air conditioning is knacked thouugh makes it alittle uncomfortable however.went out with Dave last niight, and due to a Londonn cabbies peculiar sense of Homouur ended up inn a

Class !!!

2007-04-11T16:23:00.000+01:00

Rebirth

2007-03-16T14:37:00.000Z

Not sure what I can say about this. Sometimes life is strange.

Some Facts from todays Irish Star

2007-03-08T15:39:00.000Z

Conor pay close attention to fact 4

Comments

2007-03-08T13:56:00.000Z

It appears blogextra is screwed, so all your incise comments are consigned to history. Oh Well.Blogger comments now enabled. Really, Really, Really must move to my own domain and start using wordpress. Soon my pretties.

I Respond

2007-03-08T10:53:00.000Z

Michael,Thanks for your reply. Apologies for my mail yesterday, it was unreasonably rude.In general I have an issue with additional charges for public services. I think that this will become a headache for Irish Rail, and people will go back to local estates/roadside to park. Perhaps you have been working with local councils on this, because disc parking/double yellows will be the only way to

Irish Rail Responds

2007-03-08T10:25:00.000Z

Dear Conor,I refer to you comment logged with on our website yesterday in relation to our new car park in Leixlip (Louisa Bridge). Our intention is to charge €5 per week for or €2 per day as you mention. This means that daily commuter will have to pay €1 per day for parking. We have discussed this proposal with local representative groups and they agree that it is a reasonable charge for

We Sixty

2007-03-07T14:39:00.000Z

+++Well chaps, the Wii wasn’t enough. [STOP]+++No games you see. [STOP]+++And I am an impatient man. [STOP]+++The red mist of consumerism came down and I was forced to buy an x360. [STOP]+++Gosh it’s heavy. [STOP]+++Gosh it’s loud. [STOP]+++Come join me online. ConRehn is my name. [STOP]+++Raw V Smackdown, Top Spin 2, Gears of War and (especially) Table Tennis are my games. [STOP]+++Fellow Wii

Letter to Irish Rail

2007-03-06T10:03:00.000Z

Sent this off to Irish Rail today:Hi,A new car park has been built in Leixlip Louisa Bridge. You are going to charge €2 a day to use it and have converted your existing free car park to pay-per-use also.Presumably the car park was built to stop people parking on the road and neighbouring housing estates. A straw-poll on the platform this morning revealed that’s where people will continue to park

Phychic pyschic

2007-03-02T16:39:00.000Z

Sinéad and I went a psychic fair in the Westgrove Hotel in Clane. It is not the first time we’ve been, I doubt it will be the last.It was chock full of women (chick full?), with the odd (and I mean odd) guy hanging about. Taffeta-clad behemoths and beardos everywhere. Like last time, I avoided the scientologists who all looked like child molesters. I did like the look of their stress tester

A bleak sestina about work

2007-03-01T14:31:00.000Z

Haven't been blogging for a while, but here is a sestina. A highly stylised form of 12th century poetry. Not only am I blogging again, but a poem as well! Feel free to send me a sestina and I'll post it. I have foregone Iambic pentameter, because it's hard and I'm lazy.Going to Work?Today I arrived at the train stationAnd cursed the right-handed ticket machineOne of life's less subtle jokesA

Books 2K6

2006-12-15T13:44:00.000Z

Here is a (mostly complete) list of books I read in 2006. I don't include any comic collections which I may post later in a gigantic cloud of anal retention. Also, free of charge, a very very short review.One Hundred Great Books In HaikuDavid BaderNot sure this counts. It's fine.Does Anything Eat Wasps?: And 101 Other QuestionsNew ScientistAs above. Sinéad and I both bought each other this

Baby News

2006-11-30T10:30:00.000Z

Congrats to Conor & Sinead on the birth of their new son yesterday at 20:26Baby weighed in at 6lb 12ozs.I wonder who won the baby lottery Conor was running???

Last Word...

2006-11-13T16:51:00.000Z

I play football every thursday night on the astroturf pitch with a bunch of guys. Its usually a tame enough affair and nothing too dangerous, well except when Greg is there.Greg is the kind of guy who likes to win. He's well built, kind of a Wayne Rooney build of a guy, and likes to tackle hard.Footbal starts at 9pm, so I was pondering around the house at 8:30pm wondering will I actually go to

Helpdesk Priorities

2006-10-27T16:35:00.000+01:00

Confused on how to manage your priorites? Consult my handy guide!P5. Ignore this call at all costs. It isn't important and probably never will be. It was a waste of company resources actually typing this into the system in the first place. Decrease the loggers annual bonus by 1% and close the call automatically citing "User Error"P4.Shuffle this call to the bottom of the pile. User may have

Jane Eyre Leaving Cert Notes

2006-10-16T14:27:00.000+01:00

Jane Eyre. Romance. Auth. Charlotte Bronte. Published 1847Jane Eyre is an orphan sent to live with her aunt. Her Aunt Mrs. Reed and her cousins all hate her so she is sent off to a boarding school for young girls. It is here that Jane has her first lesbian experience with her only friend Helen. Helen dies of Typhoid soon after and Jane becomes a teacher.Jane gets a job as a governess outside

My First Police Interview

2006-10-10T09:51:00.000+01:00

I had my first police interview yesterday evening @ 5:15pm

Drive Time

2006-10-10T09:48:00.000+01:00

A few hints for some dummies out there who still haven't learnt how to drive safely in Fog:a) Headlights are required you're invisible without them.b) Half headlights are not sufficient, you're still invisible you idiot!Observations taken on my drive into work today in the Waterford/Ardkeen area.

Lost Lost Girls

2006-09-29T14:51:00.000+01:00

I haven't talked about this for a while. Why haven't I bought it yet you ask? Where is the porn review I promised? Yes, it's porn, but is it art?Well, blame the children. Great Ormond Street hospital own the rights to Peter Pan. They don't want it published in Europe, so it hasn't been. Now the law is a little vague on how all this works considering Peter Pan is out of copyright. It's

Birthdays

2006-09-18T12:05:00.000+01:00

I find myself slightly depressed on my birthday. I am thirty-one. That this depression has chosen to manifest itself as a diarised blog is bewildering to me.I imagine that my malaise is less due to my birthday (the zero cranks would have you believe that I am only now joining my third decade), and more to do with the staggering amount of alcohol that I consumed this weekend. This must be where

Chinese Name

2006-08-03T15:15:00.000+01:00

In the spirit of being a five year old, Richie in work wrote my name for me in Chinese.Richie, real name Zhuo (pronouced jhu-ah) is a student working for us, who is setting me straight on a couple of things about China:Western Chinese food is definitely not Chinese.You can get authentic Chinese food in Dublin, we are going to eat there next week.Only Koreans eat dog. They breed a special type

Ugh.

2006-08-02T17:10:00.000+01:00

I wrote this in a document today:"Integrating into a scalable design solution is key to project implementation"I deserve the electric chair.

You know its time to:

2006-07-31T13:51:00.000+01:00

Some Wisdom I've accumulated over the last month I taught I'd share.You know it's time to buy a stira when you fall off the step ladder getting out of the attic and hurt yourself. (it's getting installed on Wednesday)You know it's time to get a new car with air con given the current climate change and also if you plan to take you car on holidays to France and drive 1100 miles in a heat wave.You

Tramore City ?

2006-07-31T11:40:00.000+01:00

According to the latest prelimary report from the CSO for the 2006 Census Tramore now has a population greater than Kilkenny City, so I beg the question should it now be Tramore City?With such a population explosion in Tramore over the last decade its high time there was some serious investment into Tramore. OK we got our ring road eventually, but where are all the shops we were promised and

But He Did Die.

2006-07-28T16:53:00.000+01:00

David Gemmell finds Jerusalem aged 57.Gutted. Had an opportunity to meet him, but had to go to my sister's wedding. Maybe we'll meet in the void.

Tyger Tyger Burning Bright

2006-07-12T09:19:00.000+01:00

Last night a 19-year old girl got mauled by a Tiger in Dublin Zoo after climbing over a six foot fence while drunk and sticking her arm in their cage.I have written a response for Dublin Zoo in the event of litigation:"The Monkeys aren't that stupid,The Tapirs aren't that thick,The Toucans wouldn't be so simple-minded,The Owls are much more quick.The Lemurs aren't so short-sighted,The Gibbons

Really Stop Humping

2006-07-07T17:17:00.000+01:00

Man, this guy is insistant! Another in the occasional postcard range.

On Hold

2006-07-04T15:08:00.000+01:00

Super busy. Looks like I'll be that way until I go holidays in two weeks.Normal service will resume then.

Rebel against Revels

2006-07-03T16:19:00.000+01:00

"Dear Cadbury,Bertie Bott's Every Flavour BeansThese jelly beans come in a variety of flavours. Some flavours are even extremely disgusting. These Harry Potter sweets already exist and are called Revels.Today on the train an oversized man sat beside me, making both of us uncomfortable. He wasn't fat, just bigger then an ordinary human, like he had been magnified by 20%. I sat there beside him,

Postcards from the Hedge

2006-06-29T11:07:00.000+01:00

Having reviewed postcards on the stands around Dublin, I realised that I can go months without seeing a sheep, years without seeing an Irish cottage and even months without seeing a Guinness in this post-baby world I live in.So, seeing a gap in the market, I am releasing a range of postcards of parts of Ireland that I and many commuters like me see every day. We need some postcards of the real

Last Lost Girls Post

2006-06-23T11:20:00.000+01:00

Taken from Neil Gaiman's blog (again), Alan Moore has a Radio Interview with the BBC available here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/today/audio/full_alan_moore_interview.ram where he talks more Lost Girls.After the Lost Girls segment there is an entertaining bit on why his name will be on no more Hollywood movies and why he will not draw for American comics. He also talks about his books,

More Lost Girls

2006-06-20T13:49:00.000+01:00

For Anyone that's interested i.e me, there is more on Lost Girls on Neil Gaiman's Blog, where he attaches the original introduction to the book. He talks about pornography vs erotica.You probably won't read it, but in one paragraph he says "If it failed for me, it was only as smut; the book, at least in large black and white photocopy form, was not a one-handed read. It was too heady, dense and

Buying Pornography, Maybe.

2006-06-19T18:07:00.000+01:00

I am thinking about buying Lost Girls by Alan Moore. It is a comic book (drawn by his wife Melinda) where Alice of Alice in Wonderland, Dorothy of The Wizard of Oz and Wendy of Peter Pan meet up to discuss their sexual exploits. If you’d like to know more Alan has a very funny/very crazy interview on Suicide Girls. The link is SFW, but don’t stray from the path, as the rest of Suicide Girls is

Present Time

2006-06-06T15:28:00.000+01:00

At the best of times I find it hard to buy my wife presents. June is usually an awkward month for me, its our 7th wedding anniversary followed a week later by my wife's birthday.Any suggestions on presents greatly appreciated. We'll probably go out for a meal as well on top of it.This is my current small list of ideas:JewelryGive her money to buy clothes etcSome type of gadget maybe like an ipod

End of the World

2006-06-06T15:22:00.000+01:00

Is today the end of the world?Some say it is, as predicted by the Number of the Beast 666Today is the 6th Day of the 6th Month of the 6th year of the new millenium.To be honest I wouldn't be surprised if 666 is bush's password for that nucelar red button that could cause the end of the world.On another note the new Omen remake is released today to mark the occassion of the 666 Date.

New Puppy

2006-05-31T14:07:00.000+01:00

We got a new puppy last thursday night. Its an 11 week old female Bichon Frise.The whole naming of the puppy thing took about 3 days to resolve. The Name changes went as followsMollySnowyMaggieSallyLady (This one actually stuck for about 12 hours. My 4yr old son wanted this name as he's a big Thomas the Tank engine fan)Then Finally back to Sally.So say hello to our new puppy Sally.

Why People Like/Dislike Comic Books

2006-05-31T13:54:00.000+01:00

On the BBC newsfeed today:"Batwoman Hero Returns as Lesbian"That is all.

Eating Out Ireland

2006-05-30T10:22:00.000+01:00

If you have been reading all the other blogs you'll have seen that Ursula has set up a new blog called 'Eating Out Ireland' on which I have been invited to write restaurant reviews.Well. I'll give it a go. A few people are saying the name is jokey, i didn't get it until Sinéad spelt it out for me:"Put yourself back in the mindset of a 15-year-old boy.Or Jay and Silent Bob.If you were Eating Out

No Immunity from Defamation and Libel.

2006-05-25T17:32:00.000+01:00

Reading the front page of my free "you’re an IT Professional" ComputerScope. I am told that you can be prosecuted for defaming people on your blog in Ireland. Not being stupid I already new this. Commentators beware, you are also libel for what you write. Now, I think that my blog is satire. Heavy-handed, ill thought-out satire, but satire all the same. Still, to cover my bases, I’d like to

TicketBastards.

2006-05-23T16:24:00.000+01:00

Some unsavory news on the net today. Rewritten to suit my own bias:Three years after Ticketmaster introduced ticketFast, its online print-at-home ticketing service, consumers have so embraced it that the company now sells a half-million home-printed tickets for sporting and entertainment events each month in North America. Where ticketFast is available, 30 percent of tickets sold are now printed

The Last of it. For Today.

2006-05-19T17:24:00.000+01:00

Finally added in the in-laws. Makes my lovely poster a little cluttered and far less dynamic.Also, remember girls and boys that if you are going to do an image search for Shannen Doherty do it at home. Definitely, definitely NSFW. Don't do it. Don't be tempted. Shudder to think what would come up if you did a search on Alyssa Milano.Anyway, for the maybe final time, here is the new poster:

Da Vinci Code

2006-05-19T15:34:00.000+01:00

The Da Vinci Code is getting terrible reviews. What did people expect?Here is an excerpt from the review on BoxOfficeMojo.com:"Long-haired Mr. Hanks and French-accented Tatou skedaddle across Europe, eluding gendarmes, escaping to a French chateau and jetting to London, all the while tracking clues and positing theories using their knowledge of history and Catholicism. Tatou's childhood takes on

More Plot

2006-05-19T11:46:00.000+01:00

Dynasty was already taken...Definitely a Fargo "based on a true story" is the way to go. I also like the idea of expanding real life events to absurdity.For example:Dad decides to give Conor K a fishing rod, but when he opens it finds out it's dynamite. I expect a gag like this needs the setting to moved to Heuston, TX. Bringing home a dolphin and cooking it features somewhere. A culture clash

More Pedigree

2006-05-19T10:24:00.000+01:00

So,After a couple of folk including me said it, I substituted Mum for Carrie Fisher. The movie now needs a tagline and a plot.Currently running with Sinéads sublime "When Even The Best Isn't Good Enough"Plot Guides lines to follow one of the seven plots:1 - [wo]man vs. nature 2 - [wo]man vs. man 3 - [wo]man vs. the environment 4 - [wo]man vs. machines/technology 5 - [wo]man vs. the supernatural

Pay Scales for "Pedigree"

2006-05-18T16:40:00.000+01:00

After making the below, and my mind refusing to let it go, I started looking at how much we'd need to make our movie.James Spader as the lead? He did Secretary for $400k + % profits. Not bad, but this doesn't have "arthouse" written all over it. Say $5m James? You’re hardly in demand.Robin Wright Penn. $2m. Ok.Dakota Fanning. $3m and rising. Still within budget.Daniel Craig. Eek.

B-Movie Life

2006-05-18T13:45:00.000+01:00

It started the way all these things start.Sinéad and I were sitting on the couch watching the end of Pretty in Pink. James Spader plays the bad guy (Steff) and Sinéad says that he could play the role of John in the movie of his life.Not a bad choice. This lead to the conversation on who would play me in the movie of my brother's life if he was played by James Spader. Obviously with James

Amazon Replies

2006-05-10T14:30:00.000+01:00

Well what did I expect? What I got I suppose, a polite PFO. Bearing in mind I wasn't confused about shipping, just annoyed about it. In the past I also have in the passed suggestions onto "along to the appropriate department," we all know what that means. I have a friend from Fermanagh though, and he has offered to bring the stuff down for me. Way to beat to the system. Would there be a

I am not a crank

2006-05-10T08:24:00.000+01:00

Sent a complaint letter to Amazon:Hi, I have used Amazon a lot over the years, but cannot justify it any more due to the high shipping rates to the Republic of Ireland. It is as easy and often cheaper to buy books in the high street. Does Amazon have any plans to offer super saver delivery to the Republic of Ireland. If not, why not?Regards,ConorI feel better now.

Post IT Organisation

2006-05-09T16:11:00.000+01:00

I have a lot to do.I have a lot of tools at my disposal to help me organise my work: Email, Helpdesk, Tasks, Calendar etc.Seems that all these are now full and contributing to the problem. I talked about this to the powers that be and got given "Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-free Productivity" which I read.While not a terrible book he advocates lists, which you put everything (work,

Good Fore it.

2006-05-05T16:33:00.000+01:00

Yesterday I noticed a bump on my tire. I do remember slamming into a pothole a few days ago, so I have probably buckled the rim. Darn.I am off down to Cork for the weekend so I decided to change the tire as Sinead will I have the car and I am a good caring conscientious husband. Easy peasy. You’d think.Got the tire out from under the car? CheckLoosen nuts? CheckJacked up car? CheckTook off

I Don't Know Kung Fu.

2006-05-04T14:01:00.000+01:00

Super Powers.For a while I have be going on about everybody having a super power. Your super power doesn't necessarily have to be useful, nor helpful to oneself. In fact, your superpower can just be a localised ability to bend reality in a given situation a little better than anybody else. What may seem a benign and useless power may be invaluable one day if you find yourself in a highly

Would You Credit That?

2006-04-27T14:02:00.000+01:00

Hmmm. It appears I spend to much money on books and not enough on clothes. Table below is my Credit card purchases by number of transactions and percentage of total value. Kind of aimless, and really needs to cross referenced with laser info. Read from it what you want.What makes the information slighty valid is that I am a plastic junkie. I hate cash, so I have a (sometimes) painful record of

13 Fictional places that I wouldn't like to live in

2006-04-03T09:14:00.000+01:00

Sunnydale, CaliforniaPros: Hot Buffy action.Cons: Full of Vampires, Demons, he undead, built over a hell-mouth. Generally not a nice place to live.Smallville, KansasPros: Wholesome, if you are not being possessed/killed.Cons: Monster of the week, frequent devastating meteor showers, super powered psychopaths, super intelligent psychopaths, in the middle of nowhere.Ankh-Morpork, DiscworldPros:

Radio Star

2006-03-07T14:57:00.000Z

Who was listening to the Ian Dempsey Breakfast Show on Today FM this morning at around 8:50am ????Conor has been bugging us all week about the talking heads competition on the Ian Dempsey Breakfast Show on Today FM. Its basically a quick sound bite of sombody famous and you have to guess who it is. The cash value goes up €50 every day if its not guessed, its was at €350 this morning. Conor was

Some Stats

2006-02-15T15:58:00.000Z

Here are some site stats, because I was interested in running them. First post: 7th August 2003Last post: Today, 15th Feb 2006Total words in that time: 54,310Number of words in an average fiction novel: 90,000 – 100,000Number of comments: 356Most prolific commentators:Niall: 48Conor: 43Sinéad: 43Michael: 24Gerry: 21Andrew: 20The Shadow: 16Celebrity Commentators:Ainsley HarriottBertie Ahern (4)