FS: 1 Teething Baby

BMX XXX

I was in gamestop the other day checking out the sales and I came across this title. Hmm. BMX XXX eh? This looks a little odd.

So, I didn’t buy it. Is this because I am thirty? Probably. Not the three-Oh is going to stop me buying "We love Katamari" when it gets released in February.

BMX XXX merges the twin pleasures of a BMX simulator will badly rendered naked women. I googled the title and found out many things about this and other similar titles:

• Sony censored the PS2 version of the game, thus naked women only appear on the Xbox and Gamecube. SCEA stated it posed a detrimental threat to Sony's console brand, adding that the edits were not crucial to the game's gameplay experience. SCEA missed the point a little methinks.

• The greatest boob physics are to be found in DOA2 for the dreamcast. DOA4 for the Xbox 360 doesn't compare at all, apparently.

• DOA X-treme Beach Volleyball took the girls from DOA2 and put them in a volleyball game. I found this review on the internet: "Do you find curvaceous, 3D, anime-style girls sexy? If yes, rejoice! For Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball is the medicine for your sickness. Join a group of large breasted beauties as they bump and spike their way around the beaches of Zack Island. DOA spares no jiggling polygon expense as you spend 14 days immersed in sun-drenched, computer-generated voyeurism. And you've got a zoom button for your camera. Need I say more? Be sure to buy a large assortment of bathing suits for your lovely ladies to model to maximize your perverted cartoon lusts. If only I could get the topless cheat code to work I'd never put it down. A must have for sexually repressed males and 12-year-old boys everywhere."•

• BMX XXX is in bargain bins across the land and should not cost you more the €12

• I cannot justify buying this, even for research purposes.

• This reviewer from a Spanish website has a serious problem:
Pontos Fortes: lots of good features, LOTS OF GOOD MISSIONS
Pontos Fracos: you shouldn't have a certain amount of health.
Resumo: i love this game because you get to see a lot of porn for your hard and dedicated work. the reward of porn is like no other. I LOVE PORN... i would get this game because you never get tired of playing it because you are working for porn.

• The first ever Sex in Games Conference has just been announced

• Anyone else remember Leisure Suit Larry? He’s on the PS2 now. Leisure Suit Larry: Magna Cum Laude unsurprisingly costs the same as BMX XXX

• I started writing this as a funny "Ha Ha Ha" article, but now it looks more then a little sad.

• The character generation screen in BMX XXX looks like this: