The Last of it. For Today.

Finally added in the in-laws. Makes my lovely poster a little cluttered and far less dynamic.

Also, remember girls and boys that if you are going to do an image search for Shannen Doherty do it at home. Definitely, definitely NSFW. Don't do it. Don't be tempted. Shudder to think what would come up if you did a search on Alyssa Milano.

Anyway, for the maybe final time, here is the new poster:

More Plot

Dynasty was already taken...

Definitely a Fargo "based on a true story" is the way to go. I also like the idea of expanding real life events to absurdity.

For example:

Dad decides to give Conor K a fishing rod, but when he opens it finds out it's dynamite. I expect a gag like this needs the setting to moved to Heuston, TX. Bringing home a dolphin and cooking it features somewhere. A culture clash gag would work here, with Dad being a southern patriarch and Conor K being a Yankee.

(To adapt and steal from Neil Gaiman) this might happen:

"I read the various drafts of the script as they came in, pointed out when they were getting too far away from our lives, pointed out when they were moving even further away from our lives, and, finally, enthusiastically agreed with the powers that be when they decided that the movie script had got so far from our lives that it would be best for everyone if the movie's characters weren't called The Murnanes, the film wasn't called Pedigree and we took our toys back and started again..."

Despite this, I am thinking about pitching it as "The Royal Tenenbaums only coarser, faster and funnier."

Definetly not a gross out comedy. Broad yes, Gross no.

More Pedigree

So,

After a couple of folk including me said it, I substituted Mum for Carrie Fisher. The movie now needs a tagline and a plot.

Currently running with Sinéads sublime "When Even The Best Isn't Good Enough"

Plot Guides lines to follow one of the seven plots:

1 - [wo]man vs. nature
2 - [wo]man vs. man
3 - [wo]man vs. the environment
4 - [wo]man vs. machines/technology
5 - [wo]man vs. the supernatural
6 - [wo]man vs. self
7 - [wo]man vs. god/religion

and script to follow:

Initial situation - the beginning. It is the first incident that makes the story move.
Conflict or Problem - goal which the main character of the story has to achieve.
Complication - obstacles which the main character has to overcome.
Climax - highest point of interest of the story.
Suspense - point of tension. It arouses the interest of the readers.
Denouement or Resolution - what happens to the character after overcoming all obstacles/failing to achieve the desired result and reaching/not reaching his goal.
Conclusion - the end of the story.

None of your postmodern structure here, thank you.

Amended poster (still without In-Laws)

Pay Scales for "Pedigree"

After making the below, and my mind refusing to let it go, I started looking at how much we'd need to make our movie.

James Spader as the lead? He did Secretary for $400k + % profits. Not bad, but this doesn't have "arthouse" written all over it. Say $5m James? You’re hardly in demand.

Robin Wright Penn. $2m. Ok.

Dakota Fanning. $3m and rising. Still within budget.

Daniel Craig. Eek. Probably looking for $20m now he’s Bond. Try to negotiate a pre-bond fee of $2m

Billy Zane. $2m apparently. Fair enough.

Jason Lee. $3m. $3 million??? Ok. You are playing me.

Helena Bonham Carter. No idea how much she asks for. Let’s say $3m.

Shirley McLaine. Normally looks for percentage. Let’s say $3m?

Robert Redford. $11m. No way Rob. Maybe you can produce it like A River Runs Through It, and waive your fee. Or percentage? We’ll have to see if Paul Newman is available. He’s the same price? Rutgar Hauer it is so…

Shannen Doherty, Carrie-Anne Moss and Andrew McCarthy. $1 a piece.

So, excluding Rob Redford who were hoping will work for free, the actor wage bill comes to: $23 million. I don’t think I can put this on my credit card. I think we’ll just have to play ourselves, or hire Australians looking for a visa.

B-Movie Life

It started the way all these things start.

Sinéad and I were sitting on the couch watching the end of Pretty in Pink. James Spader plays the bad guy (Steff) and Sinéad says that he could play the role of John in the movie of his life.

Not a bad choice. This lead to the conversation on who would play me in the movie of my brother's life if he was played by James Spader. Obviously with James Spader playing my brother, especially in the title role, all the other actors cannot be A-Listers. It was an interesting twist on the who would play you in the movie of your life. I would have picked George Clooney a lá Syriana, but now that option was gone.

Anyway, Sin and I worked through the cast with much hilarity.
I now give you the cast of the movie of John's life, working title: "Pedigree"

(Apologies Sinead, Brigid and Conor K. I couldn't fit you on the first version of the poster. I will amend though.)



PEDIGREE

An Aaron Spelling Production
Directed by: Ang Lee

John James Spader
Karel Robin Wright Penn
Sarah Dakota Fanning
Dad Robert Redford
Mum Shirley McClane
Susan Helena Bonham Carter
Stephen Daniel Craig
Andrew Billy Zane
Conor Jason Lee

Also starring:

Sinead Shannen Doherty
Brigid Carrie-Anne Moss
Conor K Andrew McCarthy