Store Bags.

Recently I have noticed women walking around town using store bags instead or in place of handbags. Two of the more prevalent are La Senza & Myla. Now for folks that don't know, these are both lingerie stores, albeit from different ends of the market.

Yep, you'll get noticed. Presumably that's the point.

A La Senza bag says: "I like dirty, cheap, nasty underwear. And thrush."

A Myla bag says: "I like dirty, expensive, tasty underwear."

BTW, I am more bemused than disapproving. I am going to start carring a couple of bags around myself.

A Jockey bag says: "I like tighty whities, Beckham wears them now so that makes it OK, but I'm probably married all the same."

A Calvin Klien bag says: "I spend too much on underwear, but these are sexy, yes? Is this 1995?"

I can make it work, right?

Price of a cup of coffee?

On the way into work a homeless man asked me for the price of a cup of coffee.

I gave him €4.

SPAM and the future.

I must confess to kind of liking spam. Not in a enjoy-getting-it-into-my-mailbox sort of way, more of a enjoy-looking-at-titles-while-looking-for-real-mail sort of way.

I particularly like when spammers don't bother pretending that their messages are anything else but spam, a few messages like this are guaranteed to put a smile on my face. To wit [all sic - btw]:

Update your Penis
Take out your secret weapon
Do not let the desease spoil your life!
More massive love luger [For the German market]
Turn it into a thing she will never forget
Make your love wand function better
This small blue-colored-pill will turn you to supermacho! [For the Mexican market]
Bring back time when girls were yours.
Lineage to the King of Siam
Attitude of the Hero
Beach season is near, ensure your potence on vacation.
Britney drops top at Monte Carlo [eh. I realise this isn't funny, but I am fixated]
I want sale you rolex . Do you want one? [does this guy want to sell my Rolex?]
Graduate in style with a new shaft [mixing college with penile enlargement. A+]
Is your love stick as hard as stone?
Re: as big as BIG BANG [Ho, Ho. Brilliant. I really like the way this is a 'RE:' like I came up with the original mail. Hey guy! can you make me as big as the BIG BANG? Simply perfect]
Stop being the joke around town

Ah yes. I am ready to take my place as a disease-free supermacho King of Thailand [née Siam], back to a halcyon time when all the girls were mine, pleasing them all with my love luger while looking at pictures of Brittney topless. I will have an endless supply of blue pills and watches. I will no longer be a joke around town either, probably because of my heroic attitude.

This is what spam is like at the moment, we all know it, we all get it.
But what will spam be like in the future? Here's my guess:

Hey! Petrol only cheap $$$
Too Hot? Try our sell you suncream
Tried of boiling? Clean water, Perfectly potable.
In the slow lane? Tired of queuing for Gas?
Dare to get in the air? Travel Deal$, cheap!!
Make your love wand function better - Because even at the end of the world, you'll need a gigantic cock.

Gosh! Canadians sure do suck at Mario Kart

Hey there everyone. Been gone a while.

Just thought I'd pop back to say that Canadians (yes, all of them) suck at Mario Kart.

To illustrate, here is a picture of a clearly distressed Luigi in a pair of Moose horns, being trounced by a determined Mario in a leprechaun hat. The (not-so) titanic battle set against a backdrop of the Candian Flag.

Until next time folks! Enjoy!