Monday, July 31, 2006

You know its time to:

Some Wisdom I've accumulated over the last month I taught I'd share.

You know it's time to buy a stira when you fall off the step ladder getting out of the attic and hurt yourself. (it's getting installed on Wednesday)

You know it's time to get a new car with air con given the current climate change and also if you plan to take you car on holidays to France and drive 1100 miles in a heat wave.

You know its time to get a new camcorder when you discover swimming pools and camcorders don't mix very well.

Any pearls of wisdom you'd like to share?

Tramore City ?

According to the latest prelimary report from the CSO for the 2006 Census Tramore now has a population greater than Kilkenny City, so I beg the question should it now be Tramore City?

With such a population explosion in Tramore over the last decade its high time there was some serious investment into Tramore. OK we got our ring road eventually, but where are all the shops we were promised and also the cimena that was granted planning permission 3-4 years ago hasn't materialised and on the basis of an outstanding planning permission for that cinema a more recent planning permission for a cinema was turned down in the town, its bloody disgraceful I say!

Another great decision is to relocate the Race Course outside Tramore down by the back strand and develop the current race course into housing. I'd hate to be those people in Ard na Groi who paid big money about 6 years ago to have a nice big house with an upstairs sitting room and balcony overlooking the race course, overlooking your neighbours garden will be more like it!

One more final point, lets get rid of those bloody amusements!

Friday, July 28, 2006

But He Did Die.

David Gemmell finds Jerusalem aged 57.

Gutted. Had an opportunity to meet him, but had to go to my sister's wedding. Maybe we'll meet in the void.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Tyger Tyger Burning Bright


Last night a 19-year old girl got mauled by a Tiger in Dublin Zoo after climbing over a six foot fence while drunk and sticking her arm in their cage.

I have written a response for Dublin Zoo in the event of litigation:

"The Monkeys aren't that stupid,
The Tapirs aren't that thick,
The Toucans wouldn't be so simple-minded,
The Owls are much more quick.

The Lemurs aren't so short-sighted,
The Gibbons aren't so slow,
The Rhinos can't believe their eyes,
The Lions watched the show.

The Meerkats aren't so senseless,
Nor the Otters so indiscreet,
The Elephants aren't so mindless,
The Ostriches would retreat.

The Penguins aren't so witless,
The Ducks aren't such schmucks,
The Fox wouldn't be so foolish,
The Tiger can't believe his luck.

Climb into the tigers cage,
The keepers will raise the alarm,
When you play with Tigers,
You're lucky only to lose an arm."


Eaten his fill

Friday, July 07, 2006

Really Stop Humping

Man, this guy is insistant! Another in the occasional postcard range.

Really stop humping

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

On Hold

Super busy. Looks like I'll be that way until I go holidays in two weeks.

Normal service will resume then.

Back in a fortnight

Monday, July 03, 2006

Rebel against Revels

"Dear Cadbury,

Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans
These jelly beans come in a variety of flavours. Some flavours are even extremely disgusting.

These Harry Potter sweets already exist and are called Revels.

Today on the train an oversized man sat beside me, making both of us uncomfortable. He wasn't fat, just bigger then an ordinary human, like he had been magnified by 20%. I sat there beside him, touching, neither of us very happy. But he can't change and he has a right to sit down. Revels are like that extra 20%, but unlike oversized train guy they can be changed. Coffee and chocolate should never be mixed into one product, surely evolution has taught us that much? Come on Cadburys! Look at the life train guy has and ditch the coffee Revels. It's not big, it's not clever. Have you even done any market research? Who likes the coffee ones? Make a list so we can put them to the sword. Freaks! They probably liked Richard Linklater's "Before sunrise" as well. Isn't there some kind of test we can administer to prevent this sort of thing? Or is that your plan? If so, it is not fair on the rest of us.

I am not a crank,
Yours etc.,"

Just say no