Cloudbusting

Armed with instructions of the internet, Michael and I started to build our cloudbuster.

Here is how we did it.

A lovely day, we set out together (with my baby) to buy the materials needed. These were:

1 x Bucket
1 x Glue
2 x Packets of carpet tacks
6 x Quartz Crystals
1 x Industrial strength glue
6 x 6' Long 1" copper piping
1 x 3'x2'’ sheet MDF
1 x Drill bit

1st Stop Leixlip DIY

Armed with our print out and baby we strode into Leixlip DIY and asked for six six foot long one inch wide copper pipes. The guy in the forecourt obviously knew more about copper piping then we did.

"It comes in 20 or 40 foot,"” he opined.
The Reply? "“That won'’t fit in the car."

He took down the pipe and measured it. 18 foot! A sign! All that needed to happen was for the pipe to be cut into three.

"Could the pipe be cut into three?" Michael asked.
"“There'’s a hacksaw there,"” said our observant helper monkey.

There then followed an uncomfortable silence as the forecourt attendant realised that he was going to have to cut the pipe in three to get rid of us. Which he did, with surprisingly good grace. We bought a bucket and left.

The list now looked like this:

1 x Bucket
1 x Glue
2 x Packets of carpet tacks
6 x Quartz Crystals
1 x Industrial strength glue
6 x 6' Long 1"” copper piping
1 x 3'’x2'’ sheet MDF
1 x Drill bit

Off into Dublin to buy some Quartz Crystals.

I parked in Temple bar car park, and we walked down to Parliament Street to the astrology shop. On the way we popped into a jewellery place in Crown Alley, to see if they could help us. The woman there admired our baby and our seemingly progressive relationship and told us to go to Parliament Street. Once there we got our Crystals and a few more knowing and sympathetic looks. Back to the most expensive car park in Dublin to retrieve the car and on to Woodies for the last of the items.

Woodies.

Out of the car once more (again with the baby) and into Woodies. We picked up some outrageously expensive glue, 2 packs of carpet tacks, a drill bit and the sheet of MDF. Score! Michael got to hold the baby here and watched in awe as woman mysteriously gravitated toward him.

The list now looked like:

1 x Bucket
1 x Glue
2 x Packets of carpet tacks
6 x Quartz Crystals
1 x Industrial strength glue
6 x 6'’ Long 1" copper piping
1 x 3'x2'’ sheet MDF
1 x Drill bit

Taa-Daa. Time to buy some doughnuts and beer and build a cloudbuster.

We arrived back at home and started to build the workbench, which we'd then use to build our cloudbuster. This took a suspiciously long time and the least said about it the better. In the end, we settled for a mostly built workbench. Don'’t press me about it, it'’s a touchy subject.



We were wearing tinfoil helmets at this stage. One of the properties of the cloudbusters is to remove UFOs from the immediate area. We were attempting to block our thoughts so the greys didn'’t get an inkling of what we were up to and try to intervene.



Sinéad became the official photographer for the day so the men could concentrate on the task at hand.

We laid out all the parts and got building.



First we had to cut spacers out of the MDF using the jigsaw and drill. All this went well. Some nice, reasonably round cuts and then a six holes drilled through to hold the copper pipes. At this stage the foil hats had come off. We were building the cloudbuster anyway, let those little grey bastards know whatÂ’s coming to them. Please note my responsible choice of footware.



Then disaster! The drill bit that we bought was too small. It turns out the 1" piping was measuring its internal diameter. Work was put on hold for two weeks.

Two weeks later we reconvened, I'’d bought a bigger drill bit in the meantime. Work continued apace. We finished all the spacers. Put the glue in the bottom of the bucket with the carpet tacks and laid the spacer on top of it. I chopped up six lengths of garden hose onto which went the Quartz. We inserted the copper pipes over this.



Added on top of this, some organic compost between spacers. We then glued the whole lot together. Top spacer on, and the cloudbuster was complete.



It'’s been running for a couple of weeks now and the weather has been superb. We reckon that the couple of blips of rain we saw were because of the compost drying out in the base reversing the polarity of the device. No ill or physical effects have been noticed by either Michael or Myself, so thankfully some of the more obvious dangers appear to have been avoided.

Although it feels dirty using the cloudbuster for profit, a nice business model has been suggested. We will guarantee nice weather for your barbeque or outdoor event. No win, no fee.