Naming 2003 UB 313

While nerds whip themselves with damp towels over what the exact definition of a planet is, 2003 UB 313 orbits the sun unnamed.

Some AstroNerds are claiming that this is the 10th planet, others say not only is it not a planet but neither is Pluto. Pluto, is a mere Kuiper Belt object. The Kuiper Belt was discovered after Pluto and is full of really big things that look like planets and orbit the sun, but aren’t actually called planets because astrologers refuse to agree on what a definition of a planet is, most probably because they are disgruntled that they didn’t discover one of the really, really, really huge immense gigantic objects (n.b not a planet) in space first.

Either way 2003 UB 313 appears to have something the other rocks didn’t: size & momentum. Also it’s bigger then Pluto which human consciousness has accepted as a planet even if a bunch of weirdo nerds have not.

And is time for it to get a name. New Scientist has run a poll to get some opinions:


Persephone
Peace
Galileo
Xena
Rupert
Bob
Titan
Nibiru
Cerberus
Loki

I have a few ideas of my own. But there are official guidelines for this kind of thing. They are:

Names should be pronounceable, non-offensive, 16 characters or less in length and preferably one word

Names should not be too similar to an existing name of a minor planet or natural planetary satellite

Names for persons or events known primarily for their military or political activities are acceptable only after 100 years elapsed since the person died or the event occurred

Names of a purely or principally commercial nature are not allowed

Names of pet animals are discouraged

This rules out a few of the lunchtime table suggestions(Planet Nike, Planet Reebok - Chaa-Chingg!)

Here are my ideas:

Dirk – After the famous marine explorer

Con – After me

Big – Self explanatory

Party – Man! It’s the party planet. I am so there
when the sun heats up in 2 billion years. Da-da-da-da-dum

Karoake – The empty orchestra of the solar system

Mine – It’s all mine I tell you

PhilDick – How much irony in the universe would there have to be to be invaded by PhilDickians? A lot, that’s how much.

EscapeRouteA – Hee Hee

KeepOffTheGrass – What grass?

Dunroamin – Nasa could nail a sign to it.