Wednesday, May 12, 2004

It's your birthday!

It’s the Blog’s first birthday in July.

As part of the celebrations, I present the revisionist historians guide to Lunchtime Poetry & Pain, written in the style of an index to a post war treaty. Like a clip episode of your favourite sit-com.

Chapter 1: Articles 1 – 41. Crimes against poetry.
Trinity chase Michael to become poet laureate. Mark makes his way on to CIA’s watch list. Conor up against war crimes tribunal for his poetry and haiku

Chapter 2: Articles 42 – 53. Continuance of status quo.
Brendan Kennelly rings Michael looking for advice. Black sedans seen in vicinity of Mark. Conor made sign peace pact that he’ll never write poetry again

Chapter 3: Articles 54 – 56. The decline of Lunchtime.
Michael nominated world ambassador for poetry. Mark has a go at the church, men in pointed red hoods seen with black sedans. Conor missing, fingers presumed cut off.

Chapter 4: Articles 57 – 58. Loss of interest.
Michael absent due to poetry world tour. Mark missing, probably abducted for reprogramming. Conor inexplicably still documenting lunchtime conversation.

Chapter 5: Articles --. Death of ideals.
Poets form a lynch mob for Michael, who is in hiding. Mark suspected to be holed up with a tin foil hat in a faraday cage. Conor on hiatus

Chapter 6: Articles 59 – 63. Rebirth of a notion. Food law.
Michael abandons poetry, under the ‘Yeats’ treaty. Mark still missing; presumed probed. Conor documents his Gout inducing Christmas.

Chapter 7: Articles 64 – 76. 100 Ordinances.
Michael, Conor and Mark detail what they have to do before they die. Conor writes letters.

Chapter 8: Articles 77 – 89. Church and State.
Michael starts his holidays in the far east. Mark loses the creationist vote. Conor writes more letters. I am not a crank.

Chapter 9: Articles 90 – 106. Foreign Policy.
Michael still worrying the locals. Mark in a darkened room with his eyelids stapled open; Man and Dinosaurs can co-exist. Conor’s wife has a run in with her psychotic South African next door neighbour. Niall joins, and complains about traffic, gets locked out by the corpo.

Chapter 10: Articles 107 – 104. Foreign Policy, Domestic Relations.
Michael goes down under. Mark learning about God’s sense of humour; there is no missing link. Conor makes a political statement.

Chapter 11: Articles 104 – 106. Continuance of status quo.
Michael back, but leaving again. Mark back on the back of the church. Conor posts an ad.

Chapter 12: As yet unwritten.

Here’s a word from Wilde.




Some stats:

24,969 words so far
116 posts.
Averages 215.25 words per post.
Between the four of us we’d have 1/3 of an American romantic novel written
Posts: Conor 52, Michael 45, Mark 18, Niall 1


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