Boer War II

A bit of background to the below. A couple of weeks ago we answered the intercom to the police asking to be let in to our apartment. I went downstairs to meet two guards in sporty tracksuits. It came as no surprise that they were actually looking for SAWMWBTP. They laughed when they realised they had buzzed the wrong apartment, “You probably thought someone was dead!” they quipped. I think they just wanted to lawfully gain entry to the complex.

A few days later Sinéad met South African white male wanted by the police again, she had forgotten her keys and was waiting for me to come home and let her in. Part of the reason I love her so much is because of her direct nature, even so, I am not sure that this is the direction I would have taken with SAWMWBTP, especially if I had no means of escape.

SAWMWBTP is about 5’ 7” of slight build, clean shaven, and speaks with a South African accent. He is often seen in denim jeans with brown work boots. You can see white the whole way around his pupils, probably caused by a thyroid deficiency. An overactive thyroid can cause sleep deprivation and eventual madness. Approach with extreme caution.

Sinéad: I hope everything is OK
SAWMWBTP: Eh?
Sinéad: With the police.
SAWMWBTP: Eh?
Sinéad: They came looking for you, I hope everything is OK
SAWMWBTP: What?
Sinéad: With the police.
SAWMWBTP: Eh?
Sinéad: The police came looking for you, they buzzed us by mistake, we let them in.
SAWMWBTP: What?
Sinéad: I’ll be there in a couple of minutes cat!

South African white male wanted by the police retreats into his apartment and starts putting the body parts into bin liners; he is still confused about continuing cat references. We are currently double locking our door at night.