Corruption, sleaze, the lazy and inexcusable “better the devil you know” school of thought, lowering the age of eligibility to vote to sixteen, complete and utter disrespect for the general public, allegedly the most sophisticated electorate in the world endorsing dishonesty, backhanders, brown envelopes, perjury, violence, illiteracy, off-shore accounts, tribunals, liars, broken promises, complete and absolute disrespect for the law, ineptitude and gross stupidity.
Politics in Ireland as of 17th March 2004.
Below is a list of some of the worst; their crimes, and the punishment to be handed out to the electorate where applicable. It’s not just the politicians that are guilty. All the below are currently deputies.
1. Michael Lowry
Register your displeasure at:
Lowry, Michael (Other) (Technical Group)
Ó Labhraí, Micheál
Abbey Road, Thurles, Co. Tipperary
Also guilty of collusion: People of Tipperary (North Riding)
Crime: Grand Larceny
Well publicized he took a barrel load of money off Ben Dunne and built an extension to his house with it, completely undeclared of course. When questioned about it he said "[the extension] was not designed by me as a tax evasion measure ... If someone was trying to hide income, would they not be more likely to put it in, say, an offshore account?" This is interesting because after availing of the 1993 tax amnesty, he reported in 1996 "that some of my tax obligations are still outstanding." Just before he said this he had opened an offshore account, bringing his total number of [known] offshore accounts to three. When Lowry went back to the polls, the people of Tipperary voted him straight back in number one. Stupid bastards.
Verdict: Guilty
Sentence:
Lowry got removed from the Fianna Gael party, and had to settle his bill. While I don’t think he should be allowed hold public office, unfortunately there is no law against it. The real villains of this piece are the stupid, stupid people of Tipperary North Riding. I propose that Tipp North is given no public funding from the rest of the country and must foot the bill for all their own hospitals, roads and amenities from local tax collected. They have effectively sanctioned tax fraud, they should have to live with it.
2. Emmet Stagg
Vent your bile to:
Stagg, Emmet (Labour Party)
Lodge Park, Straffan, Co. Kildare
Collaborators: People of Kildare (North)
Crime: Soliciting prostitutes
In 1994, Stagg was picked up in the phoenix park by the Gardai soliciting a prostitute. While researching this I came across a wealth of ill-informed comment. Mostly the arguments ran along two lines, one that homosexuality is not a crime. Absolutely! This is not an argument about homosexuality; yes, the prostitute was a man, but the operative word here is prostitute.
Second, that we are not moral guardians, one’s sexuality is not a matter for public discussion, look at Bill Clinton etc. Yes, again I agree with all of this, but it is, of course, completely irrelevant. Prostitution is still illegal.
The press dropped this story, Stagg did not resign, and he sailed back into office courtesy of the people of Kildare north.
Verdict: Guilty
Sentence:
I took a while coming up with a guilty verdict for this. The real problem I have is that Stagg did not resign from office (Labour were incumbent at the time), I think it shows a lack of character. Prostitution to be legalized for the people of north Kildare.
3. Beverley Cooper-Flynn
Make your views known to:
Cooper-Flynn, Beverley (Fianna Fáil)
Ní Fhloinn, Beverley
2 The Manor Village, Westport Road, Castlebar, Co. Mayo
Seen fraternizing with: People of Mayo
Crime: Supporting Tax evasion
Ms. Cooper-Flynn took a case against RTE for defamation of character. RTE claimed in a report that Cooper-Flynn had knowingly given advice to a 69 old farmer James Howard on how to avoid paying tax; she said she did no such thing. It was, and still is to this day, the biggest case of its kind ever seen in the state. The libel action failed, Cooper-Flynn left with staggering legal costs. Interestingly, RTE disproved libel not by the evidence provided by James Howard, who Beverley consistently claimed she never met, but by three other witnesses, all self confessed tax evaders. Perhaps Beverley is not all at fault, maybe it was the way she was brought up. Her father Pádraig (you may have seen his comedy act on the Late Late show), took £50,000 from a property developer Tom Gilmartin, half of which was invested offshore on the advice of his daughter. The Flynns signed a declaration giving a false London address in order to avoid DIRT tax at a time when both were tax resident in Ireland. The Taoiseach still has big hugs for them both.
Verdict: Guilty
Sentence:
Mayo to be setup as a tax haven, golf courses a-plenty and the Westies and drug barons can come back from Alicante to take up residence. It will become the new Monaco. All public services to be removed, people required to have passports to travel to and from Mayo. All citizens to be issued the new Mayo dollar at an exchange rate of €1 : MO$.00001
4. Jackie Healy Rae
Letters of the displeased to:
Healy-Rae, Jackie (Other)
Ó Healaigh, Seán
Main Street, Kilgarvan, Co. Kerry
Quislings: People of Kerry South
Crime: Shameless profiteering at the expense of the rest of the country.
Every time this man opens his mouth it is a complete travesty. He has no concept of the big picture. The [weak] government needed his vote to stay in power, and pandered to his every whim.
Here are the lowlights:
1) His vigorous lobbying resulted in Kerry and Clare being included in Ireland's poorest regions, a move which jeopardised the country's application for EU funding.
2) Shows complete and utter comtempt for the countries planning regulations, on at least two separate occasions, the marina being the most recent example “[the marina] was constructed 'a few feet' too close to the road than was allowed for in the planning permission”
3) Instilled the same morally bankrupt views in his son Michael, known as “Dolly” because he is a clone of his Dad, now a politician too.
4) Both father and son are isolationist racists. “Ireland for the Irish” and “85pc of asylum seekers arriving here were not genuine refugees” are two choice quotes.
Verdict: Guilty, released on own reconnaissance
Sentence:
No actual crime has been committed, so leniency is required. Every asylum seeker who comes to Ireland to be housed in Kerry. Planning regulations to be abandoned completely in south Kerry, build where you want, when you want. The Irish Tourist board ordered no longer to take an interest in Kerry. Fungie the dolphin to be re-homed in Clare. South Kerry forced to pay majority of Ireland’s cut when aid for the ten new EU states is required.
5. Martin Ferris
Your unified disgust (Bearla or Gaeilge) to:
Ferris, Martin (Sinn Féin) ((Technical Group)
No. 2 Moyderwell, Tralee, Co. Kerry
The fifth column: People of Kerry North
Crime: Deputy Martin Ferris calls for the release of the killers of Detective Garda Gerry McCabe.
Detective Garda Gerry McCabe was gunned down in a botched post office raid in Adare in 1996. The killers fled to Kerry, sparking a massive manhunt. There are also Kerry links with the Don Tidey kidnap case in 1983. It cannot be a surprise to anyone that Martin Ferris got elected a TD in Kerry
In relation to the above, Mr Ferris called for an amnesty for all republican prisoners. When asked if this included capital murderers, Mr Ferris replied: "There will be no settlement until all republican prisoners are released. All republican prisoners. That includes everyone."
He was then asked "does this include those on remand facing capital murder charges?". Mr Ferris replied: "There will be no settlement while any republicans remain in jail. Including those on remand."
Contrary any rational person’s sensibilities, he and his fellow deputies posed for a photograph with the killers of Garda McCabe in Castlerea prison.
Verdict: Guilty
Sentence:
Removal of all the Gardai from Kerry North, they cannot be expect to work somewhere where getting shot while working is endorsed. All Post offices to be shut down in North Kerry. Retired Kidnapper Danny Morrison Sinn Fein’s “publicist,” to be appointed chief justice for North Kerry, a role he is allegedly familiar with.
6. GV Wright
Courier your letter of distaste to:
Wright, G. V. (Fianna Fáil)
Mac an tSaoir, Tomás
Leinster House, Kildare Street, Dublin 2
Turncoats: People of Dublin North
Crime: Drink Driving, GBH
One night late last year, minister GV Wright left the Dail, got into his car, drove through town and hit a pedestrian. He was breathalysed and was over the limit. The woman he hit had her right leg broken in four places. GV Wright, stand up fella that he is, refused to compromise himself by apologizing to the woman he hit, the Taoiseach to his credit, did. Eventually in a prepared statement, he apologized. He got fined €900 and banned from driving for two years. Oddly, he got quite emotional while apologizing to his party colleagues. Crocodile tears?
Wright is obviously a fan of the Dáil bar; allegedly he was given £2,000 cash in there in 1993 wrapped in a newspaper, sure that’s something to drink about alright!
Verdict: Guilty
Sentence:
It remains to be seen if GV will be voted back in, so I am avoiding punitive penalties against the people of Dublin North. There will probably be a civil action taken against TD Wright by his victim, the world awaits. If the electorate vote him back in, the removal of driving licences and automobiles from the residents of Dublin north will be necessary.
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