September 18th - The Feast of Genius

96 - Nerva elevated as Roman Emperor (Coward)

323 - Constantine the Great decisively defeats Licinius in the Battle of Chrysopolis, establishing Constantine's sole control over the Roman Empire. (Looney)  

1454 - In battle of Chojnice, Polish army is defeated by Teutonic army during the Thirteen Years' War  (It’s all prussian to me)

1739 - Treaty of Belgrade signed, ceding Belgrade to the Ottoman Empire (Yawn)

1759 - British capture Quebec City (Blame Canada)

1810 - First Government Junta in Chile. Though supposed to rule only in the absence of the king, it was in fact the first step towards independence from Spain, and it is commemorated as such. (September 18th is independence day in Chile)

1850 - United States Congress passes Fugitive Slave Act (Medodists and Quakers rightly ignored it)

1851 - New York Times begins publishing ($3 to search the archives)

1872 - King Oscar II accedes to the throne of Sweden-Norway  (An Intellectual)

1873 - The Panic of 1873 begins (Goddamn bankers)

1895 - Daniel David Palmer makes the first chiropractic adjustment (Take one bin…)

1906 - Typhoon with tsunami killed an estimated 10.000 persons in Hong Kong  (Splash)

1914 - The Battle of Aisne ends (All the old forests were destroyed)

1927 - Columbia Broadcasting System goes on the air (The eye, the eye – poss. illuminanti connection??)

1931 - Mukden Incident. After that, Japan occupied Manchuria. (Also called the Manchurian incident – Sneaky Japanese blew up their own rail road to blame the Chinese and annex Manchuria, replacing Russia)

1942 - Canadian Broadcasting Corporation authorized (Bringing Canadians Together - Yawn)

1943 - The Jews of Minsk are massacred at Sobibor (260,000 people were killed in this camp, after this there was the only ‘successful’ Jewish revolution in a nazi camp.  Of the 600 escapees, 50 lived)

1947 - The United States Department of Defense begins operation (formerly known as National Military Establishment). (On February 22, 2002, the Department of Defense Office of the Inspector General has reported that DOD has not and will not account for $1.1 trillion of "undocumentable adjustments)

1961 - James Gandolfini, actor is born (You woke this morning, got yourself a gun…)

1971 - Lance Armstrong, cycling champion is born (No drugs, yer honour)

1975 - Patty Hearst arrested after a year on the FBI Most Wanted List  (Heard the burst of Roland’s Thompson gun and bought it)

1975 – Conor is born (world rejoices)

1985 - Steve Jobs resigns from Apple Computer (don’t worry folks he comes back in ’97)

1989 - Hurricane Hugo hits Puerto Rico, killing six (ended up killing between 49 – 56 people)

1992 - The existence of the National Reconnaissance Office, operating since 1960, is declassified. (Read Deception Point by Dan Brown)

1997 - Ted Turner donates $1 billion to the United Nations (Good man Ted.  Blissfully happy from sleeping with Jane Fonda for all those years.  But then she left you)

1997 - Voters in Wales vote yes (50.3%) on a referendum on Welsh autonomy (Percentage of the population aged 3 or more speaking, reading, and writing Welsh: 16.32%)

1998 - ICANN is formed (ICANN, ICANT, ICANN, ICANT)

2003 - Hurricane Isabel makes landfall in the U.S. (Official reports state that 50 people died as a result of the storm, with an official damage estimate of $3.37 billion)