Adore my Aura.

Last Sunday Sinéad and I went to a Health and Psychic Fair in the Setanta Hotel in Celbridge.

I was kind of hoping to find something a little less mainstream then crystals, tarot and scientology but was, of course, disappointed. All we got was the usual raft of bead-laden taffeta-clad behemoths and tank-top wearing weeds, trying to convince you (and possibly themselves) that the future is not quite as random as you might believe.

But hey! We were there and it was wet out, so I bought in. After a quick lap of the room I had the measure of the place.

Bottom left hand quadrant: Stuff you may or may not want to buy, including spiritual self-help (for beginners), crystal balls, crystals, plaster of paris fairies, wooden bowls, bath salts, tarot, tapes and poetry in frames.

Upper left hand quadrant: Fortune tellers, Palm readers, Tarot readers, Aura photography

Upper right hand quadrant: Scientology, more Tarot.

Bottom right hand quadrant: Holistic Massage.

I went for the quick fix and got my Aura photographed. I started to ask the fat man some questions about his work, and what I could expect. Specifically, I wanted to know what was considered a bad aura, or what was good. He refused to be drawn on negativism in the auric field, focusing on the positives only. "You may see gold, if you’re lucky" he told me, "but that’s very rare." I find this irritating on amateur-psychic-hour, the absolute refusal to admit that there can be anything bad in life. I am more likely to trust and believe in something that is not universally positive.

So I sat for my picture:



The result is very red. I was quite disappointed, but my overweight chum was more upbeat. "Ooooh! Your dominant colour is red. Look it’s centred around the throat chakra. You can still see the throat so the energy is flowing."

All very interesting. But what does it mean?

"Red means you are grounded in the physical plane. A strong colour, you are grounded in the now, with day to day matters meaning more. You are not concerned with the spiritual plane. You are ambitious and like challenges."

Anything negative? (Yeah I know, I couldn’t let the negative thing go)

"No, it would only be negative if you aura wasn’t flowing. This is very positive."

He dated the Photograph. "Come back in five years and see if anything has changed."

Maybe I will fatboy. Maybe I will.