Some Stats

Here are some site stats, because I was interested in running them.

First post: 7th August 2003
Last post: Today, 15th Feb 2006

Total words in that time: 54,310
Number of words in an average fiction novel: 90,000 – 100,000

Number of comments: 356

Most prolific commentators:

Niall: 48
Conor: 43
Sinéad: 43
Michael: 24
Gerry: 21
Andrew: 20
The Shadow: 16

Celebrity Commentators:

Ainsley Harriott
Bertie Ahern (4)
Carl Jung
Eamonn Dunphy
Gerry Adams
Gordon Ramsey
Johnny Logan
Keano
Luis Figo
Martin McGuinness
Mary Whitehouse
Rasputin
Rene Descartes
Richard Gere
Shakespere (2)
The Metron

Craziest commentator: Intertested. By a standout mile.

One of my favourite comments: "Wow, that's a lot more entertaining than the time, a girl on the bus pulled down her trousers urinated, said 'Sorry I can't control my waters' as everyone swiftly picked their bags up off the floor. Yep, who needs bus conductors"

Visits: 5991

Most likely search to refer you to the site: Samantha Mumba Image Search

Other searches that'll get you here:
Buffy porno
Poetry on Pain
Getting rid of hickeys
Ho Chi Minh City Blowjob
Rental accommodation in Castlerea


Conor's Stats:

Posts: 119
Words: 35,700
Average words per post: 300

Michael's Stats:

Posts: 47
Words: 8,109
Average words per post: 172

Mark's Stats:

Posts: 38
Words: 6,430
Average words per post: 169

Niall's Stats:

Posts: 27
Words: 4,071
Average words per post: 150

A nice pie chat:



That is all.

Adore my Aura.

Last Sunday Sinéad and I went to a Health and Psychic Fair in the Setanta Hotel in Celbridge.

I was kind of hoping to find something a little less mainstream then crystals, tarot and scientology but was, of course, disappointed. All we got was the usual raft of bead-laden taffeta-clad behemoths and tank-top wearing weeds, trying to convince you (and possibly themselves) that the future is not quite as random as you might believe.

But hey! We were there and it was wet out, so I bought in. After a quick lap of the room I had the measure of the place.

Bottom left hand quadrant: Stuff you may or may not want to buy, including spiritual self-help (for beginners), crystal balls, crystals, plaster of paris fairies, wooden bowls, bath salts, tarot, tapes and poetry in frames.

Upper left hand quadrant: Fortune tellers, Palm readers, Tarot readers, Aura photography

Upper right hand quadrant: Scientology, more Tarot.

Bottom right hand quadrant: Holistic Massage.

I went for the quick fix and got my Aura photographed. I started to ask the fat man some questions about his work, and what I could expect. Specifically, I wanted to know what was considered a bad aura, or what was good. He refused to be drawn on negativism in the auric field, focusing on the positives only. "You may see gold, if you’re lucky" he told me, "but that’s very rare." I find this irritating on amateur-psychic-hour, the absolute refusal to admit that there can be anything bad in life. I am more likely to trust and believe in something that is not universally positive.

So I sat for my picture:



The result is very red. I was quite disappointed, but my overweight chum was more upbeat. "Ooooh! Your dominant colour is red. Look it’s centred around the throat chakra. You can still see the throat so the energy is flowing."

All very interesting. But what does it mean?

"Red means you are grounded in the physical plane. A strong colour, you are grounded in the now, with day to day matters meaning more. You are not concerned with the spiritual plane. You are ambitious and like challenges."

Anything negative? (Yeah I know, I couldn’t let the negative thing go)

"No, it would only be negative if you aura wasn’t flowing. This is very positive."

He dated the Photograph. "Come back in five years and see if anything has changed."

Maybe I will fatboy. Maybe I will.

Sky Views : Part II

Dear Rupert,

I only reciently moved into my new house and got my sky dish re-connected last week. I've been off the air from sky for the last 5 months and I have to say your new post water-shed line up is fasinating: Babecast being broadcast simultaneously on about 8 different channels, its basically topless girls on mobiles charging young eager males an arm and a leg to phone them or text them, how exciting, lads your money would be better spent subscribing to one of the many soft-core channels available on sky between chanels 965 and 995 !!!

On the plus side Sky+ rocks especially when connected to my projector and Amp for movies and sport.

Regards,
Niall

P.S. Disregard the previous letter from Conor, if he was a true TV/Sky fan he would have a satellite dish and not dodgy Chorus Cable, I suppose its an improvement for Conor on the rabbits ears he had in his previous place.

Finally

The Day finally arrived, we've moved into the new house. After being homeless since 12th August 2005 we finally moved into the house on 28th January 2006.

After the usualy few days of unpacking the essentials I turned my attention to more important matters, my home cinema setup !!!

After much effing and blinding I got the projector mounted to the ceiling and aligned correctly and it only took me 2 attempts to get it right. I was then all ready to plug in the DVD PLayer using the HDMI cable I'd run only to discover I need a special M1 to HMDI adapter for my Infocus 5700 projector. A quick call to my home cinema installer friend and I had the adaptor 2 days later. Connected up my DVD Player and configured it to upscale the DVD player to 720p and I have to say the results are amazing the picture quality is fantastic. I'm getting a projected image of 74" which isn't too bad. Next thing I need now is funds to invest in my motorised screen instead of my white wall to improve picture quality.

I then proceed to try and solder the phono plugs onto the cables I'd run for my Subwoofer only for the bloody soldering iron to stop working. I just bought new soldering iron at lunch time so I'll let you know how I get on trying to solder 16 phono plugs tonight. (In case your wondering the break down is as follows:

Connection Type      Leads      No of Conns      Total
Component              3            2              6
Composite              1            1              1
Sub Woofer             1            1              1
                                                  ----
Sub total                                          8

Both sides of cables                             x 2
                                                ------
Total phono plugs to be soldered                  16

I also setup a nice remote room link for controlling all the kit which is in a closet in the hall.

I fired up Stars Wars Episode III on the system last night and the opening sequence is pretty good test of the system and I can safely say it was no let down, apart from the sub not being connected in yet I wasn't disappointed.

I'll keep you posted on my soldering exploits !!!!

Sky Views

Dear Rupert,

I was watching a Malcolm in the Middle repeat hour on Sky One a couple of weeks ago and instead of the second episode my TV cut over to Sky News. Giving you the benefit of the doubt, I immediately blamed my cable provider Chorus. This is because Chorus’s service is abysmal, as opposed to your service, which while never-ending repetitive drivel is reasonably competent.

Anyway, instead of watching Malcolm outsmart his teacher, and Hal forget Lois’s birthday again, I got Grainne Seoige reading the “News.” Now I do like Grainne Seoige, and I don’t get to see her a lot since you took her off TV3 and relegated her to channel 15, but I don’t think this was your motive. Nope. No one was watching Sky News Ireland because it is shit, and so you are force feeding it to us when we want to watch re-runs of shows we’ve seen 15 times before. Fact is I can’t watch Sky News anyway because my baby-monitor interferes with the signal. No loss as far as I am concerned.

If only my TV had picture in picture I could turn off the baby monitor, watch Sky News and Sky News simultaneously and pretend that Grainne has a twin sister. It could be a difficult one to explain when my wife comes in to watch Home and Away. You couldn’t arrange for Sky News to replace this instead?

Please stop this crap. Please. And by please stop, I mean: please stop making News up, please stop showing this shit on Sky 1 and leave on the channel that nobody watches, please show repeats of the Simpsons after series 3, please pick up Firefly, please pick up Futurama again, please pretend to care.

Oh and Rupert? I am not a crank.

Regards,
Conor

Moebius Chair

Following on from the successful building of a Cloudbuster I have turned my attentions to building a Moebius Chair. This may prove to be a more difficult task.

Last time Michael was about (he is now gadding about in Rio waiting for some low-key Carnival festival to start) and helped build the vision. This time could be a harder sell, and some of the materials may be hard to come by.

What do I know about the Moebius Chair? Not a lot. I did find out the following:

Metron travels the universe via his flying Mobius Chair, an invention he created that allows him travel through time, space and other dimensions. Metron created the chair thanks to the X-Element, a rare substance he obtained from Darkseid in exchange for a matter threshold device which Darkseid used to devastate New Genesis in their ongoing war. Darkseid’s war atrocities caused a change in the formerly neutral Metron, who now dedicated himself to defeating the dictator of Apokolips.

A picture of Metron in action:



Now if Michael were about I would be trying to persuade him to drive me out to a scrapyard to get the couple of tons of steel that we’d need to build this machine and then a trip to Maplins and Peats to pick up some motherboards and capacitors. Suppose we’d need a soldering iron as well.

As to how the device actually works, that knowledge appears to lie within the brain of Metron himself, who may not be willing to share his discovery. However, I reckon Metron has given the game away by calling himself, well, Metron.

A Metron is:

The Metron is a unit of surface area used in Heim Theory and is analogous to the branes of string theory. It is approximately equal to the Planck length squared (h*h), or 10-70 m². In common language, one could best describe this area as "vastly smaller than anything we ever deal with."

Heim Theory is kind of a unified theory of everything to resolve incompatibilities between quantum theory and general relativity

So it also appears I'll need the help of a theorectical physicist. Perhaps Stephen Hawking is at a loose end? I hear he can be difficult to work with. Maybe I'll put up some posters in the physics block of MIT. Those crasy kids are always up for this kind of stuff.

Next on the list is some X-Element. I’ve had a quick scan of my periodic table and don’t see it. Looks like that I’ll have to get some from Darkseid. I know that he has already got a Matter Threshold Device, so there is no point trying to bargain with one of those. Perhaps there is a newer version with a camera and a radio that I can lay my hands on. Seeing as how Darkseid destroyed an entire world last time someone dealt with him I may have to tread carefully, or at least put my morals on hold.

So to make a list of things I need to do (Thanks David Allen!):

• Get a few tons of steel
• Get circuit, board & capacitors
• Get soldering iron and welding torch (and goggles)
• Order O’Reilly books: Programming Moebuis Chairs; Advanced Moebius Chair Hacks; Moebuis Chairs in a nutshell, second edition
• Get Stephen Hawking and/or MIT theoretical physics department on Board
• Negociate with Darkseid for X-Element
• Build and travel through dimensions in a skintight blue suit

I'll keep you informed of how I get on.

Blog Awards

Lunchtime has been nominiated for a blog award. Vote here:



That is all.