For hecks sake!

Case:
That Australia should be banned from exporting television.

Case for the prosecution:
Neighbours
Home and Away
The Secret Life of Us
All Saints
The Flying Doctors
Skippy
Sons and Daughters
Heartbreak High
Jason Donavan
Craig McLachlan
Danii Minogue

Case for the defence:
Kylie Minogue
Holly Valance
Natalie Imbruglia
Guy Pierce

Summation:
Do Kylie, Holly, Natalie and Guy have the star power to have made it without the launch pad of neighbours? Do they provide enough star power to permit the crimes perpetrated by Criag, Danii and Jason? Has a good television program ever been made in Australia by Austalians? Is it a surprise that The Secret Life of Us has a late slot? Can we ever, ever, forgive Sons and daughters? Was Skippy a poor marsupial rip-off of Lassie? Is All Saints ER without the budget or drama? Do we have the power to change the path of daytime TV? Do we have to stop the Canadians exporting TV as well?

Verdict:
Guilty. We should start sending our convicts to Australia again. That’ll learn them.