Mixing it up with a superstar

Here is a pic of Alan and Myself mixing it up with Red Hurley, a true professional.

Enjoy.

Conor needs

Deirdre over at the live journal community has an internet meme where you type "(yourname) needs" into Google and see what you get... (I presume that this was an intentional ellipse in Deirdre's post given the nature of google results).

Anyways, I went ahead and did this, with interesting results. No analysis needed, except that I am reading "Breaking open the Head" by Daniel Pinchbeck at the moment, and this sort of exercise led to a bout of introspection that I wasn't really expecting.

Conor needs your help!
Conor needs a math mentor
Conor needs to find a purpose in protecting others again
Conor needs constant supervision
Conor needs to straighten his life out
Conor needs to ensure the opposite half is long enough to compensate
Conor needs to be a bit careful when to 'stick in'
Conor needs to grow up
Conor needs to step aside
Conor needs someone to tell him "no" when he goes off the deep end with the self-centered angst
Conor needs to make a deal with Miss Wilkes and a suspicious mom
Conor needs to grow up and quit acting like such a baby
Conor needs some umph to balance that heart-on-the-sleeve, whiny emo guy thing
Conor needs to play back in the Bundesliga
Conor needs a sig and Avatar
Conor needs to know that he is supported, and as a community we need to pull together
Conor needs to take his "meds"
Conor needs someone to stick it up him occasionally
Conor needs to sound different
Conor needs to be exploited?
Conor needs love, hope, and a purpose
Conor needs an exorcism
Conor needs a woman.
Conor needs a haircut
Conor needs the money to stay in one piece.
Conor needs braces
Conor needs to buy you a car
Conor needs a life
Conor needs is a good swift kick in the pants–on a daily basis
Conor needs to invite me around when you come back
Conor needs a larger fan base
Conor needs it most
Conor needs to spend a while being intimidated by Arab Strap fans again, or to go off and do another few Desaparecidos...
Conor needs a hug and a pie
Conor needs to protect people
Conor needs the men because Milltown Malbay are supposed to be attacking all the forts in County Clare
Conor needs to stop his self-absorbed whining and get a fucking guitar strap
Conor needs a sandwich
Conor's needs come first until he is old enough to know that other people have needs and also old enough that he has wants over needs
Conor needs would be very arrogant if this were my own idea, but it's not

Job Search

Dear Minister Martin,

I am writing to you looking for employment.

I am a thirty year old male, six foot tall and healthy. My history is as follows:

I was a child prodigy at three years of age and effortlessly reproduced and improved on the entire works of Beethoven by the age of five. By six, I had my primary degree in Theoretical Physics and German, and was writing a revolutionary thesis on the Big Bang theory. By the age of eight, I had opened a successful chain of restaurants in London and Paris. At ten, bored with what life had to offer, I entered a Buddhist monastery. I left after achieving Nirvana, whereupon I moved to South Africa to advise the government on post-apartheid policy. The fact that they did not implement my recommendations is a source of constant sorrow. Aged twelve, I invented the Internet.

Entering my teenage years I correctly predicted the impending Yugoslav wars and fruitlessly lobbied the UN and NATO extensively for pre-emptive action. By fifteen I had engineered a fully working Hydrogen Car, while simultaneously working out a non-pollutive method of hydrogen production. This led on to my pioneering work in zero point energy, and a number of highly classified projects for the US government. To complete this project I formulated a proof of the quantum uncertainty principle; now named the quantum certainty principle. At nineteen, the last year of my teens, I was nominated for the Nobel prizes in Physics, Chemistry and Peace, winning them all.

At twenty I was commissioned by the Swedish Government for a public sculpture in Sergels Torg square in Stockholm. My final piece "The assassination of Olof Palme" is openly regarded as a masterpiece. By twenty-three I had actively contributed to the fall of three African dictators. At twenty-five I proved that Shakespeare wrote all his own plays and poetry, except for sonnet 130 which was written by Kit Marlowe. During my twenty-seventh year I adapted my autobiography for the big screen. At twenty-eight I delivered my report to the French and English government about who really killed Princess Diana.

From this time to date, I have being working for the Dubai government advising on their tourism policy.

I hear that the post of Chief Science Advisor has recently opened up, and as you can see I am more than qualified. Unfortunately it appears the job which I really wanted in the Department of Communications, Marine and Natural Resources has already been filled.

I am not a crank,

Yours truly,

Dr.Conor Murnane

So here is how I ordered my 225 comic books

So here is how I ordered my 225 comic books. A mixture of Publisher/Genre/Author where I felt it appropriate.

Group 1: Wildstorm Universe / Warren Ellis

Stormwatch Force of Nature
Stormwatch Lightning Strikes
Stormwatch Change or Die
Stormwatch A Finer World
Stormwatch Final Orbit
The Authority Relentless
The Authority Under New Management
The Authority Earth Inferno and Other Stories

(Mark Millar took the authority over here and outed the Midnighter and Apollo. I like Mark Millar’s stuff, so there.)



The Authority Transfer of Power
The Authority Harsh Realities
The Authority Fractured Worlds
The Authority Jenny Sparks: The Secret History of the Authority
Planetary All Over The World and Other Stories
Planetary The Fourth Man
Planetary Leaving The 20Th Century
Planetary/JLA Terra Occulta
Planetary/Batman Night on Earth
Planetary/Authority Ruling The World
Stormwatch: Team Achilles Stormwatch: Team Achilles
Stormwatch: Team Achilles Stormwatch: Team Achilles 2

(At this point you may notice that I am missing some Authority, have no Gen13, Wildcats or Monarchy. Will probably catch up on the Authority but have no plans for the rest)

Transmetropolitan Back On The Street
Transmetropolitan Lust for Life
Transmetropolitan Year of the Bastard
Transmetropolitan The New Scum
Transmetropolitan Lonely City
Transmetropolitan Gouge Away
Transmetropolitan Dirge
Transmetropolitan Spider’s Thrash
Transmetropolitan One More Time
Transmetropolitan The Cure
Transmetropolitan Tales of Human Waste

(Transmet - I bought all 10 to satisfy the completist in me. I am not sure it was worth it though. This is definitely going to be made into a movie at some point)

Global Frequency Planet Ablaze
Global Frequency Destination Radio

(I like GF. Commission by the BBC for a TV program allegedly, episodic nature should suit)

Lazarus Churchyard The Final Cut

(Early Warren Ellis, cracking D'israeli artwork)

Group 2: Crime / Spooks

Sleeper Out In The Cold
Sleeper All False Moves
Sleeper A Crooked Line

(Sleeper is great stuff - Set in the wildstorm universe all about superhuman double agents)

The losers Ante Up
The losers Double Down

(So is the loser - no super powers here)

100 bullets First Shot, Last Call
100 bullets Split Second Chance
100 bullets Hang Up On The Hang Low
100 bullets A Foregone Tomorrow
100 bullets The Counterfifth Detective
100 bullets Six Feet Under The Gun
100 bullets Samurai




(100 bullets is made for the movies. Wins lots of awards, but is anyone reading it?)

Group 3: Sandman / Gaiman / Hellblazer

Gaiman Standalone Violent Cases
Gaiman Standalone Stardust
Gaiman Standalone 1602

(1602 - Finally Marvel makes an entrance onto the list! This is an a Marvel alternative world tale, good too)

Sandman Preludes and Nocturnes
Sandman The Dolls House
Sandman Dream Country
Sandman Season Of Mists
Sandman A Game Of You
Sandman Fables And Reflections
Sandman Brief Lives
Sandman Worlds' End
Sandman The Kindly Ones
Sandman The Wake
Sandman The Dream Hunters
Sandman Endless Nights
Sandman Death: The High Cost Of Living
Sandman Death: The Time Of Your Life




(What can you say that hasn't been said about the Sandman? Nothing, that's what)

Gaiman Standalone The Books Of Magic
Gaiman Standalone Black Orchid

(Black Orchid is essentially a Swamp Thing tale. I don't own any Swamp Thing, a glaring omission from this list. Imagine there are 8 or so Thing books here which would lead nicely onto Hellblazer)

Hellblazer Original Sins
Hellblazer Dangerous Habits
Hellblazer Fear And Loathing
Hellblazer Tainted Love
Hellblazer Rake At The Gates Of Hell
Hellblazer Son Of Man
Hellblazer Good Intentions
Hellblazer Haunted
Hellblazer Hard Time
Hellblazer Freezes Over
Hellblazer All His Engines




(By fuck the Constantine movie sucked. Why couldn't they call it Hellblazer, set it in Liverpool, have a blond (anti)hero in a trenchcoat etc. etc. etc.)

Group 4: Bone and Marvel

I don't own much Marvel comics, and Bone is independently published so I put them in together

Bone Out From Boneville
Bone The Great Cow Race
Bone Eyes Of The Storm
Bone The Dragonslayer
Bone Rock Jaw: Master Of The Eastern Border
Bone Old Man’s Cave
Bone Ghost Circles
Bone Treasure Hunters
Bone Crown of Horns




(Bone is good clean fun comics. Stupid Stupid Rat creatures)

Daredevil The Man Without Fear
Daredevil Born Again
Daredevil Visionaries Vol 1
Daredevil Visionaries Vol 2
Daredevil Visionaries Vol 3
Daredevil Visionaries (Kevin Smith)
Daredevil Daredevil Elektra: Love & War

(What can I say? I like Daredevil. I quite liked the movie too, but boy! Elektra sucked. Kind of like the Daredevil/Elektra Love and War book. Incomprehensible shit. Did Frank Miller write Robocop 2 at the same time?)

The Ultimates Super Human
The Ultimates Homeland Security

(I really like the Ultimates. Iron man, Hulk, Captain America, Thor et al take on the bad guys. Good Stuff)

Spiderman The Complete Frank Miller Spider-Man

(Shit. Miller churned out some bollocks at Marvel, apart from some class Daredevil)

Wolverine Weapon X

(X-men 2 was based on a large part of this)

Starwars Heir To The Empire
Starwars Mara Jade: The Emperors Hand
Starwars The Last Command
Starwars Dark Empire
Starwars Dark Empire Ii

(Kinda pointless. Some lovely Cam Kennedy art however)

Group 5: Frank Miller and Alan Moore with some Hellboy. Balanced by a load of crap.

Two heavy weights of comics standing side by side. Some other relevant stuff thrown in too.

Miller Standalone Hard Boiled
Sin City Sin City
Sin City A Dame To Kill For
Sin City The Big Fat Kill
Sin City That Yellow Bastard
Sin City Booze Broads And Bullets
Sin City Family Values
Sin City Hell And Back




(Hell and Back is the weakest, but it’s all good. Hard Boiled is Millers take on Blade runner, notable for Geoff Durrows gorgeous art. Geoff did the concept art for the Matrix fact fans)

Miller Standalone Ronin

Martha Washington Give Me Liberty

(This is the only comic that I have published by penguin. Never bought the sequel)

Hellboy Seed Of Destruction
Hellboy Wake The Devil
Hellboy The Chained Coffin And Others
Hellboy The Right Hand Of Doom




(Ah Hellboy. Two movies? who'd have though it)

Marshall law Blood Sweat And Fears
Marshall law Fear And Loathing

(Agonised about putting Marshall law beside the 2000ad stuff. Still might)

Green Arrow Quiver
Green Arrow Sounds Of Violence

(Revisionist stuff from Kevin Smith. First one is great)

Hitman Hitman
Hitman 10,000 Bullets
Hitman Ace Of Killers
Hitman Who Dares Wins
Hitman Local Heroes

(Garth Ennis is just funny. When Hitman meets the Green Lantern is a highlight)

Pilgrim Just A Pilgrim

(Garth Ennis is funny, unless he is writing Pilgrim. They made a second one of these? Why?)

The Maxx The Maxx
The Maxx The Maxx Vol 2

(Bleah.)

The Invisibles Say You Want A Revolution
Grant Morrison Standalone The Filth

(Grant Morrison, why is everything you wrote post Zenith and Arkham Asylum complete shit? Huh? Completely pointlessly disgusting. Avoid)

Raymond Chandlers Philip Marlowe Standalone The Little Sister
Cerebus the Aardvark Minds
Manara Standalone The Art Of Spanking
Gemmell Standalone Wolf In Shadow

(Hmm. Dodgy)

Moore Standalone Portrait Of An Extraordinary Gentleman

Moore Standalone From Hell
Moore Standalone Watchman
Moore Standalone V For Vendetta




(Putting From Hell, Watchmen and V for Vendetta back to back is quite mind-blowing. All superb.)

Supreme The Story Of The Year
Supreme The Return

(A superman parody. OK)

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen V1
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen V2

(Another great series murdered in the movies)

Tom Strong Tom Strong Book 1
Promethea Promethea Book 1
Promethea Promethea Book 2
Promethea Promethea Book 3
Promethea Promethea Book 4

(Promethea, I will continuing buying because Sinéad enjoys it. I couldn't get past book 2)

Top Ten Top Ten Book 1
Top Ten Top Ten Book 2

(Top Ten is about a police precinct in a world where everyone is a superhero. Very high concept and very good)

Gregory Gregory
Gregory Gregory Ii: Hermin Vermin’s Very Own Best Selling & Critically Acclaimed Book With Gregory In It
Gregory Gregory Iii
Gregory Gregory Iv: Fat Boy

(It's Singapore 59 all over again)

Standalone Vamps

(Bollocks)

TMCM Too Much Coffee Man's Guide For The Perplexed

(Great)

Hempel Standalone My Faith In Frankie

(Em. I bought this on a whim. I am not a 14 year old girl, honest)


Group 7: Superman & The Bat

Superman Red Son

(My only Superman book, and it's an elseworld. Good though. Superman obviously appears all over the place in various different comics in my collection. I always feel I should buy more man of steel stuff, but have never quite managed it.)

Batman Nine Lives
Batman Gotham By Gaslight
Batman Master Of The Future
Batman Crimson Mist

(All elseworld i.e. non-canon where they take the character out of there world and put them in a different situation. Always meant to buy the follow ups to crimson mist, probably will)

Batman The Killing Joke
Batman The Dark Knight Returns

(Back to the seminal works of Moore and Miller. Obviously listed in the Batman group rather then with the Moore and Miller titles)

Batman The Dark Knight Strikes Back 1
Batman The Dark Knight Strikes Back 2
Batman The Dark Knight Strikes Back 3

(Lazy, Lazy, Lazy)

Batman Year 1
Batman Year 2
Batman Challenge Of The Man-Bat
Batman The Cult
Batman Contagion
Batman Cataclysm
Batman No Mans Land 1
Batman No Mans Land 2
Batman No Mans Land 3
Batman No Mans Land 4
Batman No Mans Land 5

(Contagion, Cataclysm and No Mans Land are real unchallenging comic book stuff. Entertaining in their own way)

Batman Devils Advocate
Batman Anarky
Batman The Long Halloween
Batman Haunted House
Batman Dark Victory

(Loeb and Sale. I like this stuff)

Batman The Greatest Batman Stories Ever Told
Batman A Death In The Family

(Edgy. Reader vote for the Joker to bludgeon Robin to death with a crowbar, which he does. Goodbye for ever robin2 Jason Todd)

Batman Knightfall: Broken Bat
Batman Knightfall: Who Rules The Night?
Batman Knightsend
Batman Arkham Asylum

(Grant Morrison’s masterpiece. Pity everything else he writes is utter garbage)

Batman Black And White V1
Batman Black And White V2
Batman Night Cries
Batman Absolution
Batman Masterpiece Edition

(This is a big box. Contains a nice replica of Batman no.1. If I had a real one, I'd keep it)

Batman/Judge Dredd Judgment On Gotham
Batman/Judge Dredd Die Laughing

(We love Simon Bisley and Glenn Fabry. Alan Grant and John Wagner on good form here too)




Group 8: 2000ad and Judge Dredd

Judge Dredd Judge Dredd 1
Judge Dredd Judge Dredd 2
Judge Dredd Judge Death
Judge Dredd Cursed Earth 1
Judge Dredd Cursed Earth 2
Judge Dredd Caligula 1
Judge Dredd Caligula 1
Judge Dredd Judge Child 1
Judge Dredd Judge Child 2
Judge Dredd Judge Child 3
Judge Dredd Block Mania
Judge Dredd Apocalypse War 1
Judge Dredd Apocalypse War 2

(The Apocalypse war is the best Judge Dredd story ever. Period. I can bore you at length about this if you want, but mostly I feel that this is very the character is properly defined: "Half my city is burned to ash and you're begging me for mercy? Request denied" As Dredd Nukes a city of 400 million people)

Judge Dredd Judge Dredd 7
Judge Dredd City Of The Damned
Judge Dredd Judge Dredd 12
Judge Dredd Slaine: The Horned God
Judge Dredd The Emerald Isle
Judge Dredd Doomsday For Megacity One
Judge Dredd Doomsday For Dredd
2000ad Nemesis 1
2000ad Nemesis 2
2000ad Nemesis 3

(These Nemesis titles aren't mine. I am going to post them to their rightful owner)

2000ad The Complete Dr & Quinch
2000ad Devlin Waugh: Swimming In Blood

Standalone (various) Outrageous Tales From The Old Testament
Freak Brothers Freak Brothers Book 1
Freak Brothers Freak Brothers Book 1
Crumb Your Vigour For Life Appalls Me
Crumb The Life And Times Of R Crumb
Crumb The R Crumb Coffee Table Art Book

(You'd want to be a fairly sick fuck to leave this on your coffee table)

Various other Calvin and Hobbs, Bloom county and large format books

That's it!

Bringing Order

After moving house, my comic book (or graphic novel or trade paperback, whatever) collection has become unordered. Sinéad is away for a couple of days next week and I am planning on sorting it out.

The question of ordering CDs/DVDs/Books comes up quite frequently and tends to be a male phenomenon, at least men seem to take this stuff more seriously. So I throw the question open to you the blogs modest readership: How do you order your stuff?

My preference is by genre, then chronologically by author. I have seen music collections organised this way (my own was alphabetical, but now has progressed to random) and have been impressed. In fact this was mostly the way my comic book collection was ordered, but I keep running into difficulty ordering the ordered genres.

I have heard a case for ordering DVDs by studio, this translates to comic books publisher (e.g DC v Marvel) and I like the idea, but should my order run publisher -> genre -> author -> chronological or genre -> publisher -> author -> chronological?

Suggestions welcome.

The ultimate gift for your GAA mad partner

For the Dublin Fan


For the Waterford Fan


And finally for those prawn sandwich supporters amoungst us!

Gained in translation

Using Altavista or a thesaurus to advertise your business? I’ll hire you funny girl.

Park Job

Conor: Ah excuse me there officer, y'see my car there, space 7A?
Wiggum: Ah yeah what about it?
Conor: I was just thinking what a good parking job I did with it.
Wiggum: Yeah hey that is nice. Hey Lou, Lou check out that park job in 7A
Lou: Wohoohoo....thats sweet

Naming 2003 UB 313

While nerds whip themselves with damp towels over what the exact definition of a planet is, 2003 UB 313 orbits the sun unnamed.

Some AstroNerds are claiming that this is the 10th planet, others say not only is it not a planet but neither is Pluto. Pluto, is a mere Kuiper Belt object. The Kuiper Belt was discovered after Pluto and is full of really big things that look like planets and orbit the sun, but aren’t actually called planets because astrologers refuse to agree on what a definition of a planet is, most probably because they are disgruntled that they didn’t discover one of the really, really, really huge immense gigantic objects (n.b not a planet) in space first.

Either way 2003 UB 313 appears to have something the other rocks didn’t: size & momentum. Also it’s bigger then Pluto which human consciousness has accepted as a planet even if a bunch of weirdo nerds have not.

And is time for it to get a name. New Scientist has run a poll to get some opinions:


Persephone
Peace
Galileo
Xena
Rupert
Bob
Titan
Nibiru
Cerberus
Loki

I have a few ideas of my own. But there are official guidelines for this kind of thing. They are:

Names should be pronounceable, non-offensive, 16 characters or less in length and preferably one word

Names should not be too similar to an existing name of a minor planet or natural planetary satellite

Names for persons or events known primarily for their military or political activities are acceptable only after 100 years elapsed since the person died or the event occurred

Names of a purely or principally commercial nature are not allowed

Names of pet animals are discouraged

This rules out a few of the lunchtime table suggestions(Planet Nike, Planet Reebok - Chaa-Chingg!)

Here are my ideas:

Dirk – After the famous marine explorer

Con – After me

Big – Self explanatory

Party – Man! It’s the party planet. I am so there
when the sun heats up in 2 billion years. Da-da-da-da-dum

Karoake – The empty orchestra of the solar system

Mine – It’s all mine I tell you

PhilDick – How much irony in the universe would there have to be to be invaded by PhilDickians? A lot, that’s how much.

EscapeRouteA – Hee Hee

KeepOffTheGrass – What grass?

Dunroamin – Nasa could nail a sign to it.

Cloudbusting

Armed with instructions of the internet, Michael and I started to build our cloudbuster.

Here is how we did it.

A lovely day, we set out together (with my baby) to buy the materials needed. These were:

1 x Bucket
1 x Glue
2 x Packets of carpet tacks
6 x Quartz Crystals
1 x Industrial strength glue
6 x 6' Long 1" copper piping
1 x 3'x2'’ sheet MDF
1 x Drill bit

1st Stop Leixlip DIY

Armed with our print out and baby we strode into Leixlip DIY and asked for six six foot long one inch wide copper pipes. The guy in the forecourt obviously knew more about copper piping then we did.

"It comes in 20 or 40 foot,"” he opined.
The Reply? "“That won'’t fit in the car."

He took down the pipe and measured it. 18 foot! A sign! All that needed to happen was for the pipe to be cut into three.

"Could the pipe be cut into three?" Michael asked.
"“There'’s a hacksaw there,"” said our observant helper monkey.

There then followed an uncomfortable silence as the forecourt attendant realised that he was going to have to cut the pipe in three to get rid of us. Which he did, with surprisingly good grace. We bought a bucket and left.

The list now looked like this:

1 x Bucket
1 x Glue
2 x Packets of carpet tacks
6 x Quartz Crystals
1 x Industrial strength glue
6 x 6' Long 1"” copper piping
1 x 3'’x2'’ sheet MDF
1 x Drill bit

Off into Dublin to buy some Quartz Crystals.

I parked in Temple bar car park, and we walked down to Parliament Street to the astrology shop. On the way we popped into a jewellery place in Crown Alley, to see if they could help us. The woman there admired our baby and our seemingly progressive relationship and told us to go to Parliament Street. Once there we got our Crystals and a few more knowing and sympathetic looks. Back to the most expensive car park in Dublin to retrieve the car and on to Woodies for the last of the items.

Woodies.

Out of the car once more (again with the baby) and into Woodies. We picked up some outrageously expensive glue, 2 packs of carpet tacks, a drill bit and the sheet of MDF. Score! Michael got to hold the baby here and watched in awe as woman mysteriously gravitated toward him.

The list now looked like:

1 x Bucket
1 x Glue
2 x Packets of carpet tacks
6 x Quartz Crystals
1 x Industrial strength glue
6 x 6'’ Long 1" copper piping
1 x 3'x2'’ sheet MDF
1 x Drill bit

Taa-Daa. Time to buy some doughnuts and beer and build a cloudbuster.

We arrived back at home and started to build the workbench, which we'd then use to build our cloudbuster. This took a suspiciously long time and the least said about it the better. In the end, we settled for a mostly built workbench. Don'’t press me about it, it'’s a touchy subject.



We were wearing tinfoil helmets at this stage. One of the properties of the cloudbusters is to remove UFOs from the immediate area. We were attempting to block our thoughts so the greys didn'’t get an inkling of what we were up to and try to intervene.



Sinéad became the official photographer for the day so the men could concentrate on the task at hand.

We laid out all the parts and got building.



First we had to cut spacers out of the MDF using the jigsaw and drill. All this went well. Some nice, reasonably round cuts and then a six holes drilled through to hold the copper pipes. At this stage the foil hats had come off. We were building the cloudbuster anyway, let those little grey bastards know whatÂ’s coming to them. Please note my responsible choice of footware.



Then disaster! The drill bit that we bought was too small. It turns out the 1" piping was measuring its internal diameter. Work was put on hold for two weeks.

Two weeks later we reconvened, I'’d bought a bigger drill bit in the meantime. Work continued apace. We finished all the spacers. Put the glue in the bottom of the bucket with the carpet tacks and laid the spacer on top of it. I chopped up six lengths of garden hose onto which went the Quartz. We inserted the copper pipes over this.



Added on top of this, some organic compost between spacers. We then glued the whole lot together. Top spacer on, and the cloudbuster was complete.



It'’s been running for a couple of weeks now and the weather has been superb. We reckon that the couple of blips of rain we saw were because of the compost drying out in the base reversing the polarity of the device. No ill or physical effects have been noticed by either Michael or Myself, so thankfully some of the more obvious dangers appear to have been avoided.

Although it feels dirty using the cloudbuster for profit, a nice business model has been suggested. We will guarantee nice weather for your barbeque or outdoor event. No win, no fee.

Cloudbusting T

Show your neighbourhood who controls the mid to upper atmosphere. Harness the power of Orgone for personal gain.

Yes! It's the Cloudbuster T

Has a back print:
“I ain’t afraid of no Cumulonimbus”



Perfect for the weatherman in your life, or anyone with an interest in Riechian Orgone Theory!

Learn how we made our own cloudbuster in a blog coming this way soon!

Lunchtime Merchandise

Due to the phenomenal demand of my own amusement, I am launching a range of clothing for the discerning lunchtime visitor.

Only one product so far but many more to come.

The “I AM NOT A CRANK” T.

Features:

In block capitals to really get your point across
Lets civic authorities know that you’re serious
Ideal motivational attire when writing letters in your attic

Unanswerables Answered

Snopes.com who try to answer urban myths and legends have a list of ‘Unanswerables’ posted here. In their own words they find the questions “too obscure or complicated […] to answer”

Here I try to pick up the slack.

Has anyone had to cut off their tongue because it frozen to a flagpole?

Only really, really stupid people.

Hi, I just wanted to ask if you could investigate this urban legend. 16 is the age of consent for having sex with someone over 18.

Depends what country you are in. If you are in the US you’d probably want to go to France where they’ll give you a medal instead of extraditing you.

Is Ciara a MAN????? PLEASE ANSWER ME BACK!!!!!

Yep.

I heard that bananas have a natural chemical that makes you happy. Is it also true that cockroaches can survive an atomic blast?

I love this question. Were you eating bananas when you wrote this?

I'm 19 and from Yuma, Az and I would like to know if this myth I'v been hearing is true? By masturbating it helps the chance by not getting cancer? Is that true?..also I'v hurd other myths about masturbation and don't know if those myths are true or not. But I would like to know about the question I asked befoe.

Keep masturbating buddy, hopefully it’ll keep you indoors and stop you breeding.

Is it true that a girl cannot get pregnant if her mate smokes the seeds of marijuana when he smokes marijuana, please tell me if this is true because a lot of people tell me it is true and a lot of people tell me it's not and I don't know whaether to believe it or not because this town lies a lot. thanks.

Are you from one of those states that has a God but no sex-ed? Yes you can get pregnant, but by the time you will have read this you probably know that for yourself.

Is the government really as controlling and secretive as books make them out to be? Are there really tons and tons of secret spies all over the world?

Ask yourself if there an answer you would believe for this question.

I would like to know what does work and what does not work for getting rid of 'hickeys.' Such as the cold spoon trick, toothpaste trick, etc.

Slag.


Well I hope that clears things up for all of you knowledge seekers. TTFN.

The Ae of Unreason

This is lifted directly from Poly Poynbee in todays Guardian.

Email her polly.toynbee@guardian.co.uk

Two weeks on, London is stricken once more. The death cult strikes again, unstoppable in its deranged religious mania. This time no deaths but a savage reminder of the unknown waves of demented killers lining up to murder in the name of God.

Whatever they intended, the message was loud and clear: they can and will do this whenever they want and it does indeed spread very real terror. The police have said there are many more of them. The security services have already revealed that they know absolutely nothing.

In the growing fear and anger at what more may be to come, apologists or explainers for these young men can expect short shrift. This is not about poverty, deprivation or cultural dislocation of second-generation immigrants. There is plenty of that and it is passive. Iraq is the immediate trigger, but this is about religious delusion.
All religions are prone to it, given the right circumstances. How could those who preach the absolute revealed truth of every word of a primitive book not be prone to insanity? There have been sects of killer Christians and indeed the whole of Christendom has been at times bent on wiping out heathens. Jewish zealots in their settlements crazily claim legal rights to land from the Old Testament. Some African Pentecostal churches harbour sects of torturing exorcism and child abuse. Muslims have a very long tradition of jihadist slaughter. Sikhs rose up to stop a play that exposed deformities of abuse within their temples. Buddhism too has its sinister wing. See how far-right evangelicals have kidnapped US politics and warped its secular, liberal founding traditions. Intense belief, incantations, secrecy and all-male rituals breed perversions and danger, abusing women and children and infecting young men with frenzy, no matter what the name of the faith.

Enlightenment values are in peril not because these mad beliefs are really growing but because too many rational people seek to appease and understand unreason. Extreme superstition breeds extreme action. Those who believe they alone know the only way, truth and life will always feel justified in doing anything in its name. You would, wouldn't you, if you alone had the magic answer to everything? If religions teach that life after death is better then it is hardly surprising that some crazed followers will actually believe it.

Moderates of these faiths may be as gentle as the carefully homogenised Thought for the Day preachers. But other equally authentic voices of religion, the likes of Ian Paisley or Omar Bakri Muhammad, represent a virulent intolerance that is airbrushed out by an official intellectual conspiracy to pretend that religion is always or mainly beneficent. History suggests otherwise. So do events on the streets of London. Meanwhile the far left, forever thrilled by the whiff of cordite, has bizarrely decided to fellow-travel with primitive Islamic extremism as the best available anti-Americanism around. (Never mind their new friends' views on women, gays and democracy.)

It is time now to get serious about religion - all religion - and draw a firm line between the real world and the world of dreams. Tony Blair has taken entirely the wrong path. He has appeased, prevaricated and pretended, maybe because he is a man of faith himself, with a Catholic wife who consorts with crystals. But never was it more important to separate the state from all faiths and relegate all religion to the private - but well-regulated - sphere.

Instead David Blunkett said he wished he could spread the ethos of religious schools everywhere and Labour has done just that. The 3% of the population who are Muslim may well feel excluded in a country that makes so many special allowances for Christians when slightly more Muslims go to the mosque than Anglicans attend a church once a week.

A third of all state schools are religious. The National Secular Society, a lone voice in monitoring their onward march, reports that Labour has let 40 more nonreligious state secondaries be taken over by the Church of England in the last four years, with another 54 about to go. The Office for the Schools Adjudicator said in a recent report that the only reason faith schools often achieve better results is because of "their practice of selection from churchgoing families". That attracts the pretend churchgoers, but selection, not religion, is the magic.

In the face of this hypocrisy it seems a small thing to let Muslims have more schools too. Only this week Ruth Kelly (devout herself) announced plans to go ahead in her autumn white paper with more Muslim schools. Bombs, she said, would not stop her policy of offering more "choice" and allowing more faith groups, including Muslims, to run schools. A Hindu state school will open soon in Harrow.

But this is not choice. Only yesterday an angry email arrived from a parent on the south coast protesting that the only choice of primary school was a C of E, a Catholic and an oversubscribed ordinary school. Disqualified from the first two, failing to get into the third, their child is sent miles across town; three nonreligious schools would have been genuine choice. A YouGov poll shows that more than half of voters oppose this. While Northern Ireland struggles with sectarianism festering in religious schools, this is no time to foster yet more segregation.

So what do we do about the madmen? Bombs do change things, maybe not in the extremists' favour. A great shift in attitude seems to have swept through many Muslim groups who signed the full-page newspaper statement yesterday headed "Not in Our Name". Many were equivocators on the fatwa that had Salman Rushdie locked away for years. At the time Iqbal Sacranie himself said: "Death, perhaps, is too easy for him ... his mind must be tormented for the rest of his life unless he asks forgiveness to Almighty Allah." Nowadays Sir Iqbal is a leading moderate, showing how tolerance grows, given a chance.

The statement read: "We will not allow our faith to be hijacked by a few extremists. British Muslims should not be held responsible for the acts of a few individuals." Entirely right . Yet - like members of the same family - like it or not they are stuck with responsibility for rooting out wild men hiding in their midst and questioning what elements of their religious practice have proven so lethal. But no one can police minds and no new draconian laws to silence thinkers and preachers will ever stop dangerous ideas.

All the state can do is hold on to secular values. It can encourage the moderate but it must not appease religion. The constitutional absurdity of an established church once seemed an irrelevance, but now it obliges similar privileges to all other faiths. There is still time - it may take a nonreligious leader - to stop this madness and separate the state and its schools from all religion. It won't stop the bombing now but at least it would not encourage continued school segregation for generations to come. And it might clear the air of the clouds of hypocrisy, twisted thinking and circumlocution whenever a politician mentions religion.

God says "Enough"

In a move that has stunned observers God has decided to patent free will. A statement issued from Heaven read:

"Due to the extraordinary events carried out by human beings in His name, God has decided to patent free will. Free will is God's invention and while previously being given away, free will now be subject to a punishment when used invoking The Almighty. The charge of a free will event will be decided upon at a later date. Users of free will can continue to do so without charge so as long as God is not referenced as an influence on decision, or is only referenced indirectly, to wit: "God gave me free will so I can do what I like." Anybody ascribing to the philosophy that "God made them do it" is in direct contravention of the patent and will face a stern penalty. God has found this step necessary due to the amount of atrocities carried out in His name, and is unwilling to negotiate any further."

Celestial commentators are surprised by God's interventionism, but are generally heartened by the decision. Elsewhere three atheists decided to test God's resolve by killing a cat in His name and were instantly smited.

Buddha, Mohammed, Vishnu and Jeff Bezos are believed to be contesting the patent.

Bertie Bertie Bertie .... you have got to be kidding

Infacta, get the ex in , shes on me case!

Where would you get it ... Ireland

Which do you think is the real story

a) The famous consumer rights champion Celia Larkin has been given a new job.
b) Bertie has given his ex bird a cushy number to keep her quiet.

I fucking despair at the arrogance .....

Are you Potty for Potter?

Tonight at 00:01 BST sees the release of the new Harry Potter book Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.



There seems to be alot of hype around this book release the 6th in the Harry Potter series. I heard on the radio this morning that the number of books that have been ordered for the release of this book if stacked on top of each other would be higher than Mount Everest.

All I can say is I've seen the first 3 movies and they were good old entertainment, but reading an 800 page book about a teenage wizard just doesn't appeal to me, unlike other member(s) of this Blog!

Anyway Enjoy the book Potter Fans, I'm sure your purchases will add greatly to J.K. Rowlings already massive wealth of almost $1bn.

Man U Supporters Club Psychic Division

The psychic division of the Man U supporters club have for a while now being prophesying the removal of Manchester United Football Club from the stock market. A quantum singularity centered around Old Trafford stadium brought flags and caps from the future boldly prophesying that the club was "not for sale". Why the supporters decided to use the extra-sensory powers in such a benign way is a mystery.

A spokesperson from the department of experimental psychology from the University of Oxford, suggested that anomaly has occurred due to the collective conscious of so many people looking toward a future event, thereby influencing it. Ordinary people may not of had the same devotion to the club and therefore could only see events as they stood and that Man United football was indeed for sale. You could have a piece just by calling your broker.

A new flag has been issued to rectify up any misunderstanding.

In the interest of balance

These are a shower of cunts as well

Bigots
Advanced Bigots
International Bigots

Today, as always, the members of The Orange Order are pledged to: "strenuously oppose the fatal errors and doctrines of the Church of Rome, and scrupulously avoid countenancing (by his presence or otherwise) any act of ceremony of Popish worship; he should by all lawful means, resist the ascendancy of that Church, its encroachments, and the extension of its powers". (Qualifications of an Orangeman)

Or the even less ecumenical

On July 12, 1996, Robert Saulters, later elected Grand Master of the Orange Order, told the Orange Order that British Prime Minister, Tony Blair, "has already sold his birthright by marrying a Romanist. He would sell his soul to the devil himself. He is not loyal to his religion. He is a turncoat."

Not surprising when you consider the following?

The Act of Settlement 1701 provides the moral and political justification for all Orange anti-Catholic bigotry in Northern Ireland. And it is a law to which the Orangemen are fiercely attached, and to which their allegiance belongs. This law forbids a Catholic from being the Monarch and if the Monarch marries a Catholic or converts to Catholicism, he/she forfeits the Crown and the people are "absolved of their allegiance".

I've said it before and I will say it again western civilisation is in decline.

And you wonder why I have no respect for the church

"A referendum to overturn parts of a restrictive Italian fertility law, adopted last year, failed as turnout, which had to be 50% for the vote to pass, was only 26%. The pope and Catholic bishops had urged Italians not to vote."

Not here's the reasons why we disagree, argue, debate, excersise your democratic rights fought for and won over hundreds of years.

No.

Don't Vote.

Fucking pathetic.

Enlightened Man.

The good times were great, I’ll never forget.
Drunk, Happy and High. No regrets.
Beaches hot, never a storm.
Women I had, such perfect form.

But in case you think it was all just a trip,
I here annotate. Bad memories slip.
First there was love, mostly a sham
A wiser man, Don’t give a damn.

Makira the first, tried to give help
But I didn’t need it; I lied to myself
He gave story with story, but I didn’t see.
That each and all; were all about me.

For a while was lost; vision impaired
But a local stranger, my course steered.
If some day that stranger is me
I’ll gladly fulfil, for Karma to see.

Teddycow in her arms, I dared not glance,
Scared the sight of her tears; yet another chance.
I sat and I cried, and all people they stared.
They marched her away, confused why I cared.

Canome with Ice, I flew Ryanair
Helicopter; Jep; Dispelled Dispair.
Orange is Som; Succulent Sweet
Dirty was Clean; Her friend I meet.

Things I knew sure, wholly and true
Have faded about me, bigotry blues.
The outside and inside are never the same
I know this now. And so glad I came.

With the best will in the world, some things break
And with a stroke of luck; a million you make.

Avoid confrontation. Its all the same.
Win or lose. Your playing a game.

Accept some answers, can never be found.
There is a god. I heard his sound.

Every day of my journey, some happy and sad,
New lessons were learnt, School’s not so bad.
So after it all, I’m back with no tan.
Doesn’t matter to me, because I’m an enlightened man.

PS : References here, are quite obscure.
I will explain, of that I'm sure.
But not right now, I need some time.
Still wrapped in my thoughts, me and mine.

Living with Mariah Carey’s shoes

Dear Mariah,

I have not had more then four channels on my TV, until recently when I had a baby and decided to get cable. I now have fifteen channels one of which is MTV. MTV used to show music at one point, but now seems to be a mixture of Home and Leisure and Men and Motors, but you know this because you let them into your crib.

Do you realise that the shoe closet in your apartment is bigger then my house? To be honest, it looks like it is better appointed too. It was a very depressing moment when I realised that you keep your shoes in a space that I could comfortably live in with two other people. Though I do not, to be fair, own as many pairs of shoes as you do, if I did I suppose I would have to consider evicting my wife and baby and converting my house into some sort of living museum for foot coverings. However, my wife and baby may have something to say about that and there are two of them and only one of me. In truth, I do not seem to have the capacity to emote to inanimate objects in the same way that you do. I presume that this is a failing in me.

I notice that you would not let MTV into your bedroom for personal reasons. My friend says that’s because that’s where the guy you pay to blow cocaine up your ass lives. Mostly I tell my friend not to be so stupid, you’d never have to pay someone to blow cocaine up your ass.

Anyway, perhaps if you read this you can put in a couch and a bed into your foot locker and invite me and my family to stay. I won’t bring a straw, because I don’t believe the rumours are true and the coked-up gimp who has the job would probably kick my ass.

I am not a crank,
Yours truly,

C.

Picasso in the making!

My 3 year old son Sean drew some pictures yesterday, I'm going to post 1 picture a day and see if you can guess what its supposed to be.

House Progress

Just a little update on the house build.  So far as
you can see we're at roof stage. Half of the Roof is tiled, the single
pitch.   Some of the outside plastering will be starting this week as
we need the gable end of the single pitch roof and the chimney plastered before
the rest of the roof can be tiled.

We only ordered our windows last week and its going to
take 8 weeks possibly for delivery of the windows as we've ordered windows from
Swedex, lovely scandanavian pine windows, it takes them 2 weeks for delivery by
sea hence the long delay.  Thats going to hold things up a little as the
internal and external plastering can be done until the windows are in.

More house pictures

Media Whore

I've been in the Blanchardstown Community Voice,
I've been vox-popped on TV3,
But now I am on the cover of the times. Yes, that's me underneath the yellow arrow.


Appearance fees €1000. Travel, accommodation and expenses extra.
Next stop "Celebrity Love Island"

Baby Murnane

Baby Murnane born today @ 2:24pm weighing in at 7lb 4oz

Now Conor you'll know the meaning of sleepness nights !!!

To my German fans

"Dear Herren,

I humbly apologise if you have come here looking for pornography. I have no idea why the German Yahoo image search should be guiding you towards us on your quest for all-too personal gratification, but now that you are here you may as well read on. I am talking to you.

I am truly sorry I cannot offer you a “porno pet” or a “little porno” (Ugh! By the way! Little porno? Seek help) or indeed some “Asian porno”. I can offer you some “Buffy porno” but I don’t think it is what you are looking for. I would really like to know what you were going to do with the pictures of “fat Ukrainian women with gold teeth” though. I seriously hope that this was for a project of some kind, but since you were using the search engine “xxx.excite.de” I find it difficult to give you the benefit of the doubt.

I find it marginally upsetting that I am getting about 5% of my meagre traffic from sexually-frustrated Germans. I imagine that you find it equally frustrating that all I am providing you with is tirades against Irish politics and less-than-insightful articles about my neuroses. However, I imagine you liked the article about the Eurovision. Perhaps soon I’ll do a piece on David Hasselhoff.

I suspect that the folks at Yahoo.de are in the midst of some sort of Teutonic-Anthropology experiments with you as the white mice, so to speak. I would send them a mail to ask them, but perhaps I am part of the study as well. Best keep schtum in case they send the search-engine SS around to burn down our houses.

Anyway, sorry I couldn’t give you the filth you were looking for. Please accept a picture of Marlene Dietrich dressed like a man as an apology. Don’t try stalking her or following her home, she’s dead.

Auf wiedersehen,

C."

Baby Books TBP

From inside:

“Make sure not to have your baby circumcised. Otherwise, this could lead to major problems in later life when your child is in the communal showers after a particularly vigorous march against the rights of single mothers. The foreskin is a potent symbol of fascism and any able-bodied brown shirted male should be able to fit at least three marbles under the dermal hood. If problems with the foreskin should occur, it should be drilled into your child from an early age not to reveal his dirty little secret to anybody and that he should overcompensate when participating in a tramp beating. A prosthetic-penis or plastic surgery could also be considered.

If the baby is born with any colour hair that is not blond, make sure the scalp is shaved daily. Blond can be worn with pride (but not too much pride), but only if kept closely cropped. All other hair should not be allowed grow more then one centimetre. I once was called into a house where the baby’s black hair was let grow to shoulder length. I was forced to trim the baby’s hair to the scalp with a Swiss-army knife. The baby is a lot more content now, and the scars are healing nicely.”

Testimonials

“Little Benito was banned from church by the age of eight, we couldn’t have done it with out you” – Alessandro Mussolini

“I could have survived with it” – Eva Braun

“A lovely primer. P.S Thanks for the reference” – Enid Blyton

The New House

Seeing as you all asking me how its coming along, I've decided to post a picture of the new house as of 08:12 this morning.

As you can see from the picture first floor blockwork is complete.
The reason for no blocks on the front left of the house and just exposed insulation its because the front windows are being framed with Hallmark blocks , we're going for the Nikel blend colour but they delivered Pewter by mistake which is what you can see on the palletts.

Current estimate by the builder is to be finished by start August, and so far everyting is on track, so fingers crossed. Watch out for the next phase comming soon, First Floor block work complete, followed soon by Roof.

Everyone is a little bit Irish, except, of course, for the gays and the Italians

All this drinking, violence, destruction of property...
are these the things that we think of when we think of the Irish?

The day after St.Patrick's Day. Nice.

Gardaí from Store Street in Dublin said they arrested 70 people yesterday and that this was much higher than normal. Most were for minor offences.

Man held over Galway city stabbing
A 17-year-old is in a critical but stable condition in hospital after being stabbed in Galway city last night.

18 held over disorderly behaviour in Belfast
Police say 18 people were arrested yesterday and overnight in Belfast for disorderly behaviour in the university area of the city.

Limerick city, 52 people were arrested overall with seven taken into custody after a fight broke out at a bar in the city centre.

Gardaí and the ambulance service were also called to break up a fight between around 25 people on an evening train.
Two trains had to be taken out of service after windows were smashed.

Two in hospital after Dublin knife attack
Two people were taken to hospital following a knife attack in Artane in north Dublin last night.

Male Heterosexual Eurovision Fan Society

Got a nasty problem?

Nobody understands?

Join the Male Heterosexual Eurovision Fan Society for only €29.99.



What do I get?

• A card validating your Heterosexual right to watch and enjoy the Eurovision song contest (complete with hologram of Johnny Logan)
• A welcome pack, detailing past Eurovision highlights. Complete with “Chris Doran was robbed (Nice Change!)” 100% XXL Nylon T-Shirt
• Access to the support network
• A signed photograph of Johnny Logan
• An audience with Dana about the dangers of birth control
• Tickets to the next Eurovision (not including flights)
• A signed apology from Dave Fanning for allowing the deliverance twins to win You’re a star
• The respect of your 4 peers

Nice home by the Sea

Anybody interested in a buying a nice home close to the sea in the lovely seaside town of Tramore.

Click here for more details

So you’ve stolen too much cash? 10 ways to dispose of it.

1. Burn it in your back garden
2. Fill a duffle bag and give to a friend to hold for a while. Tell him not to peek inside.
3. Bring it to a (retired) RUC sports and social club and stick it in a locker. Tip off the PSNI.
4. Buy a holiday home in Roosky, Co.Roscommon. Only one window to replace. Going cheap.
5. Bring it to Cheltenham. Hope the bookies will take large bets.
6. Hire the worlds best spin doctor in the world to try and provide credibility to your outrageous lies.
7. Buy a rifle to go with all those bullets you have lying about.
8. Stuff it in soap boxes and take it for a drive.
9. Finance a stock brokering operation in Cork.
10. Give it back with a note saying “A Chara. Sorry, we didn’t expect to steal so much. Our bad. Is mise le meas”

10 things you should know about buying a house

1.Everything you’ve heard it true. Buying a house is a painful, hateful process. Hate the process, not yourself, it is largely out of your control anyway
2.Get a broker, even a weird anti-social slightly psychotic one. They’ll talk to the banks so you don’t have to
3.Ignore everyone. If your paperwork is in order, tell everybody else that everybody else is holding things up
4.Praise the Lord that guns are illegal in this country. It must save a lot of peoples skins
5.Amnesiac monkey estate agents are the bane of your life. Prepare to have the same conversation 47,892 times
6.You are buying a house, it will become a home later. Repeat this like a mantra
7.Bitch a lot to other people that have not bought a house yet, it’ll terrify them and be cathartic for you
8.Relax; if it falls through it’s probably not your fault and fuck ‘em anyway
9.Trying to move out of one house; into another; have a baby; rent the existing place; re-mortgage; buy furniture; pack; paint; clean and remain cheerful is a challenge, but not impossible
10.Be cool, you’ll look back and realise that you hated every moment of it, but it was worth it.

House of pain

I decided to make a picture of how I feel about the house buying process. I came up with the picture below, which I call "Hope". Hope encompasses all the feelings I have towards amnesiac monkey estate agents, weird aggressive brokers and pushy sellers. I think it is probably the most complex thing I have ever drawn.



Hmm. Could be darker. Turn off your monitor, turn off the lights and close your eyes for full effect. If you would like sound, try emitting a low pained moaning while dragging your fingernails down a blackboard.

Haiku? Passé. Tanka? In.

Living with my folks
and also with Sinéad's Dad
Moving is painful
a baby soon to be born
a new house a new baby.

What Happened on this Day 28th January

1986 - CHALLENGER Space Shuttle Explodes 73s after liftoff
1974 - I was born
1936 - Alan Alda was born
1915 - US Coast Guard founded
1807 - London's Pall Mall is the 1st street lit by gaslight
1788 - 1st penal colony in Australia founded (Botany Bay)
1596 - Sir Francis Drake died

Damn it all to hell.

As you probably don’t know or care about, Warner Brothers who own DC comics have made a movie adaptation of their comic ‘Hellblazer’ which the have re-titled ‘Constantine’ after the main character John Constantine.

Some comics to movies work (Hellboy, Spiderman, X-Men, Batman), some are ok (Daredevil, Blade, Crow), some are terrible (Judge Dredd, Hulk), some are a disaster waiting to happen (Watchmen, V for Vendetta), and one will be perfect, maybe (Sin City).

I haven’t seen Constantine. I will, and I am sure I will hate it. Mostly because the director has changed the story and told fans of the source material (and I both paraphrase and editorialise here) to grow up and accept that he has made it better by completely fucking with it.

In the comics Constantine is English, born in Liverpool. In movie world Constantine is American, born in California. Hey! It worked in High Fidelity (Liverpool – Chicago) didn’t it?

In the comics Constantine was based on Sting. In movie world Constantine is Keanu Reeves. Oh God.

Here are my casting choices:

Jason Statham


Paul Bettany


Sting




Still, let’s be rational about it. I’ll let someone else vocalise my feelings about it. Please listen here.